i'll wait for you 'cause i don't know what else i can do

let me start by saying that i hate stink bugs, from the very depths of my soul. this is not a hatred stemming from fear or anything. i do not hate them because it is suddenly the cool thing to do. my hatred for them goes way back. suffice it to say, i saw way too many of them around the house, even before the rest of DC seemed to notice enough to complain. i refuse to kill bugs (i wrote a post sometime back explaining why that you can read if you want, but i don't feel like looking for it), but i actually enjoy killing these. they deserve death by shoe (which is usually what i kill them with) and i am more than happy to be the one that gives it to them. but anyway, on to my story.

a couple weeks ago, a stinkbug landed on my screen, and there it stayed. not moving. day in and day out. through the crazy rain storm we had and the days where the sunlight filtering into my room was falling over the edge between comfortable and too hot. through misty drizzles and crisp autumn winds. this bug just sat there, not running for shelter, not cowering from the elements. it was just there. my mind went to the obvious conclusion that he (she?) was dead. there was no other explanation. i don't know much about stinkbugs, but they have to eat at least a few times in two weeks, don't they? i was thinking that i should probably get the dead body off my screen, but really didn't feel like opening my window when i have been irrationally cold lately. (it's irrational because no one else in my family seems to feel it, and they all look at me like i'm crazy when i suggest turning up the heater or lighting the house on fire for warmth.)

the other day, while "writing my paper" i noticed another stinkbug come to my screen. great, i thought, the stupid carcass (can you use the word carcass for dead bug bodies? or does it only apply to animals? are bugs considered animals in any sense of the word? these are the kind of questions that plague my mind when i am trying to write a paper and a blog post at the same time.) is attracting the rest of its people. and then, do you know what happened?! the dead stink bug, the one that hadn't moved a single leg in the past two weeks, got up and walked over to it! like, the second it landed on my screen. as if it was just waiting there for it the entire time, and that was why it was impersonating a creepy little statue. as if it couldn't move before because it might have missed the arrival of this second stinkbug. as if he was so madly in love with it that the long wait through crazy weather was totally worth it. real sweet and everything.

anyway, the two stupid bugs found a way to the inside of my screen (because it got pushed out a bit so they can come in from the bottom. i haven't gotten around to fixing this, because, like i said, i haven't been in a mood to open windows.) and were trapped between the screen and glass. so i opened my window (slowly so i wouldn't scare them into some little buzzy flying frenzy as they tried to escape)... and smashed them both. because, really, these are stinkbugs and i hate them. and they all need to die, romantic or not.

*Wait For You - Elliot Yamin

spiders catching things and eating their insides

the internet is being ridiculously slow and moody today. it only opens up certain websites, takes forever to load even those, and thinks it's being cool by doing the most annoying things. i should probably be grateful that i even have internet, but it's annoying.

anyways, the creepy crawly things here are on steroids. being gone for eight months have made them spawn into super bugs. they're like some weird government science project gone awry.

this morning i went to take a shower. i'm about to get in when i see a ginormous spider on the shower curtain. have you ever watched harry potter and the chamber of secrets?? i swear this was the spider that played aragog, the acromantula (really, really, really big talking spider). in case you have no idea what i'm talking about, here's a picture:


ok so maybe not that big, but it was definitely as big as the palm of my hand. maybe even a little bigger... that thing had long legs. so i freaked out, ran out of the bathroom squealing, and took my shower in my parents' bathroom.

the lizards are on crack too. i'm sitting out by the pool while my sister's swimming, and they're running around in the patterns the light is making on the walls as it reflects off the surface of the water. but not normal lizard running, they're running with a purpose. they're following some master plan and are forming some giant lizard army. have you ever heard the sound a lizard makes?? they make this clicking sound that i refused to believe was them when i was younger. i was convinced that my cousins, parents, aunts, and uncles were all trying to trick me, that they were making the sounds and trying to blame them on the poor, silent lizards. yeah, i wasn't too smart.

besides the clicking lizards, mosquitos are eating me alive. gah. once again, not normal mosquitos. these are bigger and thirstier and smarter than any of the other ones i've seen. so before i turn into one giant mosquito bite, i'm going inside.

*I Miss You - Blink 182