all of our plans have fallen through

did i mention on here that my travel plans changed a bit because airlines suck and way too many people want to leave and come back on the same days that i do and i suck at planning and maybe some things should not be left to the last minute? lesson learned, by the way.

anyway, because my travel days changed a bit, i was going to be in my apartment on the eighth. when landline comes out. and i was super excited. i mean, i pre-ordered this book in october. i was ready to read it.

as you may or may not realize, today is the eighth. and just take a wild guess who is sitting in her apartment without the book with no chance the book is going to get here today? yup. that would be me.

because, you see, i pre-ordered this book in october. and sometime between then and now, my credit card expired. and while i did change it on amazon after a different order told me it couldn't be shipped because my credit card was expired and i should probably change that, i forgot to change it for this specific order. and so a couple of days ago amazon basically told me the same thing for this book. and even though i updated my credit card information literally seconds after receiving the email (i was lucky enough to be online at the time), they counted it as a new order. which means i had missed the pre-order cut-off date. which means unless i wanted to pay extra for one-day shipping (i have not paid for shipping from amazon for years. i was not about to start now. even if it is for a book i want.) i was going to have to wait a couple of days before i got it.

and so i'm waiting. and hoping it gets here before i leave. this book better be good.

*The Way It Was - The Killers

sometimes i plan to celebrate the anniversary of certain events and then i realize that i can't remember anniversaries to save my life and when i go check the date it turns out that the anniversary already passed. and since i'm already late, i drag out the celebration until i don't even feel like celebrating anymore. and then i write a blog post about it.

the most recent instance of this is me not remembering that is has been exactly one year (and then some) since i released my first ever book of prosetry. i announced it first here on my blog. you can reread that post for nostalgia reasons here. if you didn't buy the book for whatever reason, you should click that link and read all the reasons that you should buy it. and then go buy it from amazon. i mean, you can get the kindle version for just under three bucks and get the kindle app for free and then you can read it almost instantly.  or you could wait a little longer and pay a little more and get a copy you can hold in your hands. or you could do both. you know, if you really want to.

one of the reviews i got on please listen was that some of the pieces seemed melodramatic. since it's been a year, i'm going to address that comment. i wrote a lot of those prose poems either as a way to work through or a result of getting through stuff. some of that "stuff" was depression-related, and if you know nothing else about depression then know that it is all melodrama. the worst thing is always happening and never ending. (notice that i didn't say "it seems like..." that was intentional.) so yes. a bunch of it is melodramatic and over-the-top and  you know what? i'm totally okay with that.

i haven't read any of the pieces in the book for a while, but some of my favorite things i've ever written are contained within those pages. (i also think i have most of it memorized from the number of times i read through it while putting it together, and yet there are still typos i didn't catch.) though i'll probably always look back and think, "if i only did..." i will also always be proud of please listen. no matter what happens in the future. for more reasons than i can list.

end shameless self-promotion. 

this place is always such a mess

so yesterday was kind of a "hang on a minute, i think i'm being productive! oh wait... no, never mind. false alarm. actually, i am! i am being productive! at least a little bit. yay me!" kind of a day. if i am the only one that gets these kinds of days then please just play along and act like i am not a total weirdo. (sidenote: i have recently found myself saying a bunch of things that i never used to say [like weirdo and wonky] and i do not know where these words came from but they are now a huge part of my vocabulary.) as i mentioned before, grandmothers and sisters and nephews and basically everything else took precedence over cleaning my apartment and after a month of that, it is a huge mess. like, really, really bad. bad enough that if you were downstairs and really needed to use the bathroom so you called me to ask if you could use mine, i would pretend i wasn't home and watch from the window as you wet yourself. and because i suddenly find myself without the constant time spent at home (i miss it!) i have developed a method of slowly getting the house clean. i will basically do mini chores whenever i am home and have a few spare minutes. these include washing a few dishes, folding half a load of laundry, organizing one corner of the tower... small stuff. at this rate, i will have a clean apartment by the end of the semester. *sigh*

(reason number 4367864 to have kids: at least you have a good reason to have a messy apartment.)

so yesterday i had agreed to help one of my students with a homework assignment during our meeting. when the computer lab did not have the software that we needed, i felt super cool and helpful for like half a second because i had my laptop with everything already installed from when i took the class. unfortunately, i hadn't used my vmware for a while, and so i didn't know that it had expired. obviously my feeling of helpfulness was short-lived. i spent a while trying to get this alternative software to work (it didn't) while downloading a new version of vmware. when everything was finally set up, he started working on his assignment only to find that it was not working. i could not for the life of me figure out why. when he finally had to leave (after an hour and a half of me feeling stupid and wasting both of our time) i decided to take one last shot at making it work. and of course it did. perfectly. because that's just how things go for me. i texted him saying that it was working, but he had plans to meet up with a friend so that was the end of it.

during my office hours (or the hour and some that i had left after suffering with faulty software) i decided to catch up on all of the blogs that i am behind on due to everything i listed above that has affected my cleaning. i had hopes to fly through them all quickly, but goodness i missed a lot. when i am on here everyday it feels like no one ever updates. but you would be surprised by how many updates there are on every blog in a month. i got through a couple of blogs, but still have three posts from one blog and a few on another that i have to go through. (i don't like feeling like i missed something so no i cannot just start reading from where they are now thank you very much.)

anyway, i am taking a break to blog and do nothing right now and then it is back to mini chores, choosing a paper topic, trying to do the reading for today's class (i am not too hopeful about that) and then heading off to school for two meetings and class. ugh. i really want to have a netflix marathon.

*One Headlight - The Wallflowers

you really did it, yeah

okay people, today is a very important day. (and no i'm not talking about it being martin luther king day, though that's also today and mlk was super cool and everything. this is a much more selfishly important day.) today is the first day that something i've written (or a collection of somethings i've written) is officially available for the public to buy and read in book form. i know, i know you can hardly believe your eyes. i'll give you a moment to go back and reread those last couple of sentences. make sure you notice the part where i say that i have a published book of prosetry on amazon.

now, you might be wondering, well... so what? and to that i say that i have several reasons why you should go and buy please listen (which is the name of the book, in case you were wondering):

[one] the book contains some of my favorite pieces of prosetry that have been seen on this blog. if there was a piece that you particularly liked, then there is a good chance that it has found its way into the book. this way you can carry it around with you and reread it whenever you want. you could bookmark pages and flip back to them without even having to be connected to any network. pretty cool, if i do say so myself. 

[two] the book also contains a bunch of prose poems that have never been seen on this blog. so if you want to see what other "morbid" and "sad" things my mind comes up with, this is the only way to do it. you'll be able to say that you were one of the first people to read these poems, and in a world of hipsters and people who fight to comment "first!" on every social network, this is a pretty big deal. 

[three] you can share it with others. say you know someone whose new year resolution was to read more. you can get them the book, because what can be easier than reading things that rarely go longer than a page?   say you know someone who likes poetry or who reads everything (good or bad) or likes to help out aspiring writers or might like my style? you can get them this book. or maybe someone's birthday is coming up and you don't know what to get them? poetry books are always a good idea. 

[four] it is not very expensive. at only six fifty, please listen is priced not much higher than a cup of coffee, and it lasts a whole lot longer. you can buy it now and keep it around you for those times that you want to read but don't have the time/energy/inclination to get into anything really long. you'll be real happy that you listened to me then, trust me. 

[five] i'll be your best friend and love you forever. and friends are one of those things that you can never have too much of. i will spend three whole days talking about nothing but how very awesome you are. i will recite epic poems in your honor to anyone who will listen and even those that won't. when i become a successfully published author (still working on it) i'll let every interviewer know that you are amazing. i'll tell my grandchildren about the super cool people that bought my first ever prosetry book. 

so have i convinced you yet? are you going to go run out right now and buy a copy of please listen for yourself? and one for your friend/mom/neighbor/guy on the bus? here's where you can find it:

createspace

amazon 

amazon uk

amazon germany

amazon france

it will be available in e-book version soon, too!

i'd love to hear what you think. amazon/goodreads reviews would also be incredibly appreciated. 

also, thank you to all of you that read this blog, because you all gave me the courage to do this in the first place. 

*You Fuckin' Did It - Jason Mraz

it's coming to an end, yeah

at ten tonight (actually, it will probably be closer to nine:forty-five) i will be finished with the last lecture of my master's degree. does anyone else find that as crazy as i do? remember when i came on here and announced that i had gotten accepted into the program? remember when i first started it? yeah, it feels like yesterday to me, too. and now the whole thing is over, leaving me with a couple of cool tricks up my sleeve, a few new school friends, and another empty, grey, uncertain future staring me in the face.

i still haven't heard back from the phd program, and there are so many things riding on that decision. i need to know what i am doing next semester so i can plan accordingly. stupid mason. you may have noticed the underlying panic that's started to bubble under the surface whenever i mention school these days.

i mean, i still have the take-home exam to do this week, but after that i'm pretty much done.

i usually do an amazon shopping spree at the end of every semester, but i'm considering skipping it this year because i still have some books i haven't read from the border's going out of business sale. we're also planning a trip down to disney world (and of course harry potter world. EXCITING.) for the christmas break, and i think that may be a better use of my money. unless, of course, there are some books that you think i should get immediately. has anyone read the fourth eragon book, yet? how was it? was it worth me getting my hands on the third and reading that (as awful as everyone said it was)?

anyway, this post was mainly just to commemorate the last day of master's lectures. so yay for that.

*Sowing Season - Brand New

it's so incredible that you're so rude

dear irene,

when you said you were going to visit, we, like any good hosts, immediately got ready for your arrival. we stocked up on food and water, we brought in patio chairs for extra seating, and we made sure we had flashlights and candles in case you are afraid of the dark. we've been stood up by hurricanes a lot in the past - they promise that they're coming and then send a rainstorm to make their excuses for them - but you seemed pretty sure, so we believed. you haven't even come yet and you're already the center of attention and the topic of every conversation. your visit is all anyone can talk about.

you'd think, what with the way we're all getting ready to greet you, that you'd be a bit more considerate. i mean, i get that you might knock out electricity, turn lawn chairs into missiles, and cause some serious property damage. it's all part of your shtick, and i'm okay with that. if you didn't go above and beyond, you might as well just call yourself a little black rain cloud. i get that. i'm talking about something else entirely.

this morning i signed into amazon to actually buy the things that i put in my cart two days ago to think about. and you know what i noticed? everything in my cart is suddenly a lot more expensive than it was yesterday. one thing went from twenty five to forty one dollars. i know prices in amazon are constantly fluctuating, but it's usually a few cents this way or that. i haven't seen jumps like this happen literally overnight. there's no real proof that this is your fault, but you're the one variable in a long stream of constants. so you know what? i'm gonna go ahead and blame you.

after everything we've done for you, everything we've agreed to put up with, all the money that we spent to make sure your stay here went smoothly, trying to bankrupt us is not polite. remember your manners, ma'am. i hate to say it, but if i knew you were going to act like this, i might have said we would be out of town this weekend. and then you could have just sat home alone in the middle of the ocean wondering why no one liked you. and if you decide to get offended and not show up, well, i think i'd be okay with that.

yours truly,
sarah

*Chow Down - The Lion King

i know what you're thinking

blech so enough with the years late teenage angst that's filled the last few posts, let's talk of something happy in this one, shall we? something like... presents. and how i have always gotten awesome ones, but recently i think i've gotten psychic with my presents.

case in point: a few weeks, possibly months, ago i was putting off something by trying to look at every single webpage on the internet, or something like that. point is, i was looking at a bunch of random stuff. anyway, i came upon this book teapot and thought, "huh. that's cute. i should tell someone to get it for me." but then i moved onto the next page and never did. on sunday when my grandmother came down, guess what she had for me? the teapot! it's super amazing.

case in point: about a week ago i was looking at the hogwarts acceptance letter on the warner bros website, wishing someone had gotten it for me for my eleventh birthday and planning an elaborate potential birthday gift around it. yesterday, my sister finally gave me my birthday present. apparently she was waiting for me to get mail to stick it in the middle of it. it's kind of a running joke around my house how i never get any mail despite my desperate desire for some every single day. she finally gave up waiting. anyway, i wake up and sitting on joe is my very own acceptance letter to hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry along with a list of the school supplies i'll need. it is awesome. (random fact: apparently the top birthday to get this letter as a present is 11. the second is 23.)

case in point: a few weeks before my bridal shower i was contemplating buying an e-reader. i had a running list of reasons why i should that my sister got to listen to whenever a new one popped into my head. then my bridal shower comes and guess what one of the gifts was? yup. and while there are some books i will read on jj (my e-reader) and then have to go buy off amazon so i have the hard copy (i'm still an amazon addict), and i sometimes find myself trying to turn the page instead of pressing a button, i love jj.

so yeah, basically whenever i come across something online now, i will just wish for it and wait for someone to present it to me in gift form.

*Don't Speak - No Doubt

i'm a weirdo

i just about finished my first paper. i have a few bits and pieces i needa add/change but i just can't bring myself to do them. maybe i'll be more inspired tomorrow morning. doubt it, but here's to hoping. only problem is that he never gave us a page number range and mine (or ours.. whatever) is twenty without the references and appendix. some professors have a problem with papers over ten pages. oh well.

also, a couple of weeks ago (possibly last week? my memory sucks these days) i reread the hunger games series, and i think my mind is still partly living in that world because my conclusion was way too power-to-the-people-let's-start-a-rebellion. if katniss was fighting for network security, i swear my conclusion would have been one of her speeches. i'll have to edit it later and calm it down.

speaking of books, for the past few months i've been living on a tight budget. before i buy anything i do a bunch of calculations in my head and usually decide that gas and textbooks are more important than a lot of things. but now i have money in my account again, and it's all i can do not to go and buy all of amazon. i've been adding things to my cart for the past few months, and i just want all of it. i know there's a responsible money budgeter inside of me, but she's been locked up by the part of me that wants new books. i have to set her free.

on another note, i have this imaginary library in my head that will exist in my house when i grow up. not just a bookshelf, but an entire room dedicated to books and reading. when that happens, i will get this great gatsby poster to put on a wall. i just started rereading gatsby yesterday, and when i was "doing my paper" i came across the poster and decided it was fate. i'm not sure why exactly i fell so in love with it, i mean it's cool and everything, but i need it. just not right now. i think i will also get the pride and prejudice one. and maybe the wizard of oz. (do you ever do that? shop for imaginary places you will own in the future? or am i just certifiable?)

anyway, my mind is really struggling to be coherent right now, but i feel like it's failing miserably. and my blankets are all tangled, and i feel like i'm trapped/being strangled.

oh, and i know that this is an april's fool joke, but i would totally get back into tv to watch it:



*Creep - Radiohead

why did you do it?

so, i got an email this morning from amazon telling me that since i ordered water for elephants a while back, they'd like to inform me that it's coming out in movie form late april and i should totally go see it. at first, i was like okay cool, thanks amazon. i mean, i already knew that, but that was very nice of you. as i was hitting delete, though, it occurred to me that when amazon usually recommends i watch/read something, it's something sold by amazon. you know, it's their personalized advertising or what have you. but they could get nothing out of this suggestion. have we really moved beyond a purely business relationship? are we now, dare i say it, friends? while these thoughts were making their way through my mind, suspicions began to trickle in too. why was amazon so invested in this movie? they must have some hidden agenda. they were obviously in cahoots with the movie industry. there is definitely something going on behind the scenes here, right? personally, though, i'm just going to pretend we're now best friends and i'm not shoveling money into a twisted relationship built on lies and deceit. it makes me feel better about myself.

on another note, i mentioned on a friend's blog the other day that there should be a fried shrimp fast food place, and since then that's all i can think of. (okay, no not really, but i keep going back to it.) i want fried shrimp and i don't want to make it at home (as my dad suggested) or go to a real restaurant (as logic suggests). i want it made in three minutes and handed to me in a paper bag. i'm sure there must be some place that does this somewhere close to me.

*Why Did You Do It? - Stretch

your head will collapse, but there's nothing in it and you'll ask yourself, "where is my mind?"

i was sitting on my bed this morning trying my hardest to work up the motivation to start an assignment that may or may not be due tomorrow night, but my brain could just not focus on the fact that homework needs to be done. it preferred to stay tangled in fictional plots and get lost in the lyrics of my music and basically just avoid reality. it has completely shut off, abandoned me in my time of need. i think there are too many things fighting for my attention that my brain has taken the easy way out and just decided to ignore everything - the good, the bad, and the greys in between. nothing going on right now can hold my attention long enough to matter. i just don't want to think about anything. my thoughts are completely consumed by books, movies, music, and basically any other mindless form of escape from reality they can find. this means that i'm getting a lot of reading done, which is great, but not a whole bunch of anything else. anything that ends with -work is hopeless, conversations take more effort than they should, writing requires too much brainpower to attempt.

yes, avoidance is probably not the smartest or healthiest course of action right now, but what can i say? it's always been my go-to method for dealing with things and change just seems like too much trouble at the moment. i did manage to finish the paper due tonight, so i'm not too pressed about this yet, but i figure i'll need to jump-start my brain soon and start to think, process, and deal. let me tell you, the prospect does not sound too appealing.

also, the light breeze coming in through my window seems to be designed for the sole purpose of scattering thoughts and who am i to argue with nature? or with amazon, for that matter, which is contributing to my runaway mind with their rewards of music and movie credits. think or download a bunch of new songs that amazon will kindly pay for? i think it's pretty obvious what i'm choosing to spend the rest of the day on.

*Where Is My Mind - Pixies

all the small things

It's just that every day from the second I wake up till the second I pass out cold, my day, like the day of almost every other mother I know, is made up of a series of concrete, specific actions. And they're actions that kind of wear away at passion, if you know what I mean. The actions are petty and small like... Like refilling coffee cups or folding underwear. But they accumulate in this really debilitating way that diminishes my ability to focus on almost anything else. Bigger things like, you know, ideas or...politics or dreams of a better life.

 ~Motherhood, 2009

i watched this movie yesterday, and this quote was just so true. i could totally relate to the feeling. there are times when your (my) life gets too caught up in the small routine things: wake up. wash up. get dressed. go to school. clean house. do laundry. make lunches. check mail. and whatever else. when you repeat these things enough times, that's all your life becomes. and suddenly, i can't read, i can't write, i can't focus on anything but folding clothes and cleaning ovens and scrubbing toilets. dreams get lost between kids' homework and dirty dishes, and before i know it, days/weeks/months of my life have suddenly disappeared.

according to my sister, the movie was too real to be enjoyable. it was like watching your life ten years into the future and knowing that there's nothing you can do to make it any better cause that's just about as good as it gets. no sparkle, no grand dramatic moments that change the world, no fairy godmother with her magic wand... just real life.

also, the fact that i related to this movie annoys me. it's like how my amazon shopping cart is filled with books i refuse to buy and recommendations i refuse to listen to because they all relate to either middle-aged women or mothers struggling to keep their heads above water. last time i checked, i was neither of these. and the fact that apparently that's one of the groups i relate to most depresses me.

*All the Small Things - Blink-182

a long time ago, we used to be friends

like most people, we have this dude that delivers our mail to us. him and i used to be friends. we would wave to each other when we passed the other on the road. we would exchange pleasantries when he had something big to deliver to our door. i always had only the best to say about him. and then... then this semester happened.

it all started when i was waiting for my dvds of primeval. amazon told me they were delivered, but i most definitely did not have them. (i mentioned this in my blog before.) anyways, i went to the mail people asking where my stuff was. the next morning, it was on our doorstep. before the mail came. opened and retaped shut. my dvds were all still in their plastic wrap so i brushed it off. i mean, nothing was missing or damaged so whatever, right?

then, i get a letter from my grandma in the mail. it contained several pages of edits for my book, so it was kinda thick. it was also opened before it got to me. but the edits and card were all still there so i continued to think the best of people and said maybe it magically got opened in the mailbox or something. whatever.

one of my latest amazon orders was shipped to my sister's house (mainly because i didnt wanna hear another fatherly lecture about how i was wasting my money, but also because my brother's birthday present was in it and i didnt want him to know it was delivered). it was still in my name, though. one part of the shipment said it was delivered march first. thing is, it wasnt. you know when it was delivered? today. or yesterday i guess since there's no mail on sunday, but she got it today. that's almost a whole week since the postal service said they delivered it.

i had to send my transcript to my scholarship advisor person recently. i sent it almost two weeks ago. i was getting annoyed because she kept saying that she hadn't received it and she needed it and stuff. yesterday, i get it back in the mail. it was opened. in red ink on the front was written 'wrong envelope.' umm what?? how can an envelope be wrong?? it was a normal white envelope that i send everything in all the time. how come it was never wrong before?? and why was it opened??

holding someone's mail is a federal offence. opening someone's mail is a federal offence. you'd think that working for the post office he would know that. so you know what, mr. postman? me and you are over. i will no longer wave or smile or say anything to you. when i think of you, my thoughts will be acerbic.

i tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you didnt want it, so just leave my mail alone.

*We Used to be Friends - The Dandy Warhols

fox in the snow, where do you go

i am annoyed. not like spitting fire ready to bite heads off annoyed, but more gah thats so frustrating annoyed. i ordered something from amazon (read: a million things being sent in four shipments) and according to the tracking information, the first shipment arrived yesterday. only... it didnt. because i would know as i was asking everyone every two seconds if a package came or not. and my dad went out and looked around the house for it today in the all the snow. i was excited for the first shipment as it was the one that had nothing to do with school. and now i have to wait for the usps office to get back to me and let me know what they did with my stuff. grr.

random side note: i was looking out the window today at the snow falling and the neighborhood looking all white and pretty and a fox appears out of nowhere. a pretty red fox that i fell in love with. and he completely perfected the storybook scene in my head. perfected it. of course, then he ran off towards the neighborhood gazebo and disappeared from view, but it was perfect while it lasted.

also: i have finally decided to read the mists of avalon. i was obsessed with medieval times at one point of my childhood, and my mom eventually gave me her copy of this book and said that she loved it and i should read it. i never did. partly because the back of the book made it sound all pro-feminism down with males and i didnt want it to spoil my view of the knights (my mom told me it wasnt like that though) but mainly because it was an awkward size. it's really big and then thick too so it's hard to carry it around and stuff. but i figure i'm at home a lot more now so i wont have to carry it anywhere.

*Fox in the Snow - Belle and Sebastian

with a dreamy far off look, and her nose stuck in a book

where do you turn when your vacation has suddenly come to an end, school is suddenly staring you straight in the face, it's cold (relatively speaking... i'm used to the desert), and you really wish you could just jump back into last month??

amazon of course!

since i had decided not buy any books from amazon until the semester is over (i have a pile of borrowed books from people i really have to get through), i limited myself to 6 books. actually, there were 7 but i accidentally cancelled one (dont ask how) and considered it a sign from god. some of the books dont even count as going against my decision since they're not really book books, some have been in my shopping cart forever, and i needed something to look forward to so dont judge my amazon addiction.

heres what i bought:

Catching Fire (The Second Book of the Hunger Games)

By: Suzanne Collins

F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What
By: Matthew Gasteier

The Song Is You: A Novel
By: Arthur Phillips

Water for Elephants: A Novel
By: Sara Gruen

Well Enough Alone: A Cultural History of My Hypochondria
By: Jennifer Traig

Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood
By: Jennifer Traig

so i will be obsessively checking my order's status in hopes that it arrives early, while at the same time kinda hoping it doesnt so i can read the people's books and get them back to them. school is not fitting into my plans forthis semester. oh well.

and in case you're a little dense this morning, i'm back in the states.

*Belle - Beauty and the Beast Soundtrack

life in plastic, it's fantastic!

my cousin's daughters want me to do this song/dance thing with them to the song barbie girl by aqua. i have a hard time saying no to them, so of course i'm doing it. now i have the stupid song stuck in my head. grr.

anyways, i have to start applying to grad school pretty soon, and i am 99.3% sure that i want to get an MS in computer forensics at my school. so last night i was double checking the admission requirements since the program is brand new (it's just starting this fall) and they keep making changes to it. and guess what?? another change.

they made the GREs a requirement ONLY if you didnt attend to an accredited higher education program, which i obviously did. soooo that means i dont have to take the GREs anymore. i was ecstatic. not that i was planning on studying for them or anything (even if my professor hadnt said that the scores wouldnt be a major factor in getting accepted because the program is so new, i find studying for standardized tests a major waste of my time. i can barely get myself to study for normal tests.) but now thats one less thing i need to worry about. and with the money i save by not registering, i can have an amazon shopping spree. yay!

*Barbie Girl - Aqua

i wonder what will it take for you to call me?

technology has allowed for many advances in our lives. doctors can perform surgery on someone across the world. you can video chat with someone on a different continent. you can buy food, clothes, music, and videos all from the comfort of your living room couch. but as amazing as technology is, we still have to acknowledge that it is destroying an entire lifestyle.

telephone conversations are gradually going out of style. i'm not saying that no one calls anyone anymore. while landline phones are starting to die off, cell phones are booming. but if you just want one thing from a friend, to ask one question, to remind them of a specific point, most people will just text them. because of that, you dont get the hours of pointless conversation that result from calling for that one thing. you get your answer and thats it. you'll call them when you have a story to tell that can't be done online, or when you're bored and need to kill time, or every once and a while just to make sure they're still a live.

another dying art form is the written letter. when was the last time you opened your mailbox and got something other than magazines and junk mail?? i used to have a bunch of pen pals, and the greatest feeling in the world is flipping through the mail at the end of the day and seeing a letter addressed to you. to know that someone thought of you and took the time out of their day to sit down and write out - not type - a letter just for you. whoever said that emails are the same as letters had some serious problems.yes, it's great getting emails too, but letters are so much more personal... you have to sit down and think more, choose the stationary, address the envelope, take it to the mailbox. you cant send out a mass letter. you can't copy and paste. each one is unique. and writing takes longer than typing anyways. sure, it costs a little more than an email, but 40 cents is totally worth it in my opinion. i think i'll find myself a new penpal over the summer for next year.

another thing that's happened since technology... when was the last time you bought a cd - like a real tangible one - and then never listened to it?? never for me. when you go to the store and pick out which ones to buy and stand in line and then buy it, you listen to it. but i have downloaded tons of songs and entire albums that i never listen to. ever. i download them, get busy, forget about them, and then months later realize that i never even played the beginning of any of them. this would never happen when i bought the cds at stores.

i mentioned the ability to buy everything online as a benefit of technology. it can be seen as a bad thing too. without ever having to leave your house, you're losing essential social contact. you're also losing the opportunities to build up your tolerance for obnoxious people. when you had to wait in traffic to get to the store to buy stuff, you were forced to wait in never ending lines behind that mom with the child that just wont shut up. you built up a tolerance for that kind of stuff. now, you can bypass all of that. great, right?? well, yeah, until you're in a situation when you have to deal with a crying child or a long line and you're so unused to it that it seems so much worse than it really is. you also lose all the small talk that people used to have while waiting for a bus or whatever. you just whip out your cell phone or your ipod and never have to talk to anyone about the weather.

i mentioned in an earlier post how playing video game sports is now super popular. well, that's great except for the fact that you're losing most of the health benefits of the sport and the fresh air and the social contact with teammates. so while you're enjoying yourself playing baseball on your couch, you're also developing your couch potato skills.

technology has also created a whole new language. a language where omg, lol, thru, u, wtf, etc are all not only acceptable but common words and spellings. we got into an argument in a class last spring because a girl (overly pretentious) who was a self-proclaimed linguist refused to even recognize this "internet talk" as part of the english language. like it or not, though, it is. a big part. it's the only language most of the younger generation speaks. sad, but true.

*Birds of a Feather - The Rosenbergs

i will be chasing the starlight

amazon is one of my favoritest websites ever. i swear i can spend hours browsing through the things, looking at lists people have made, reading recommendations. i'm not a big shopper in real life, but browsing through amazon online is something completely different. i think my favorite thing about amazon is how they recommend things for me. i love it. and their recommendations are just so smart, especially since i can mark what i want to be used in recommendations, what i didnt like, what i bought as a gift, etc.

i just finished stardust by neil gaiman today, one of amazon's recommendations. a friend had recommended it a few years back, but i had completely forgotten about it. anyways, i thought it was pretty good. in case you havent heard of it (it was made into a movie too which i have yet to see), it's about this dude Tristran Thorn who lives in the town of Wall which just so happens to lie on the boundary between our world and Faerie (yeah a magical world in case you didnt guess). so anyways, tristran is in love with victoria forester. one night, they see a star fall and vicky promises tristran anything he wants if he brings her that fallen star. so tristran goes off in search of the star, one of three parties looking for it. so yeah a couple hundred pages of adventure happens and they all live happily ever after.

it was a pretty short book (only 248 pages) and went between the three parties searching for the star although it focused mainly on tristran, so it kind of skimmed the surface of a lot of the story - there were a few 'ten weeks later...' in there. there were also some really cute parts, too.

one of my favorites was **spoiler alert** <digression> personally, i don't mind spoilers. to me, a good book will be compelling if you know the ending or not. < / digression> haha IT humor, i'm such a dork. so the quote... "He found his hands twining, almost of their own volition, into the star's wet hair. He wondered how it could have taken him so long to realize how much he cared for her, and he told her so, and she called him an idiot, and he declared that it was the finest thing that ever a man had been called" (pg 236). **end spoiler alert**

anyways, the other book i got was the girl who could fly. i just realized that it was recommended because stephenie meyer liked it and i had bought the twilight saga. it's funny how much influence she has over her fan base. anyways, thats the end of my book rant of the day.

*Starlight - Muse