write me a letter, write it today

there are very few people that would ever call me an optimist. i'm generally not one to buoy myself up with false hopes, but there is one time that i just cannot seem to suppress them, though i know deep inside they are most likely to come crashing down. every time i walk to the mailbox - and this has been going on for years - i will inflate the bubble of hope that there will be something there for me. something good. more often than not, i am wrong. on a good day, i might get a credit card offer. most days, though, find the mailbox filled with things for everyone else. it's very crushing. i recently starting receiving spanish pork catalogs. i'm still confused about them seeing as i'm not spanish, don't eat pork, and never signed up for them. but once a month one will be delivered to our mailbox with my name neatly printed on the back.

i was not always so mail deprived. once upon a time i was a little girl who would receive mail on a regular basis. and good mail, too. i had a few pen pals when i was younger, and it was great. looking back, my letters were formulaic, boring, and pretty pathetic. after the salutation, i always started with a mention of the weather. always. it was either, "the weather here has been warm lately. how is the weather over there?" or "the weather here has started to get cold. how is the weather over there?" sad, i  know. but i was only like eight. give me a break. regardless of the fact that the letters were nothing to write home about, i wrote them regularly. every time i would get a reply from one of my pen pals, i would run to my room, pull out my stationary - which i used to have lots of - and start a reply. it would be in the mail the next day and then i'd wait for a reply back.

the recipients of my letters were an odd bunch: my great grandfather, my mom's great aunt, and my grandmother's first grade teacher are among the most prominent in my mind. sometimes along with the letters they would send little treats - a bookmark or an eraser - that would make my day. the teacher used to send my sisters and i big packages full of old jewelry and books. they were great.

the point is, i grew up having a really good relationship with the mail. i developed expectations that, fifteen years later, have yet to die, though all of my pen pals have. (is that too blunt of a sentence? i cringed a little when writing it.) i miss the thrill of getting handwritten letters in the mail, the excitement of getting a glimpse into another's life, even if that other was literally ten times my age. i miss getting good mail. i need to find myself some new pen pals is what i'm thinking.

oh, and i went to see cirque du soleil: qidam yesterday. i felt that it should be mentioned to, if for no other reason, make sure it is remembered.

*Write Me a Letter - Aerosmith

just like a circus

so, this was/is a weekend of circuses. yesterday we threw my brother's birthday party. he had chosen his theme the day after his party last year (the narnia one). and yes, he chose circus. i was the bearded lady and made an awesome cake. my sister, one of the clowns, made a monkey cut out thing where you stick your face in the hole and have a monkey body. you know what i'm talking about? yeah, and for someone who inherited barely more drawing skills than me (i got none) i must say it turned out pretty awesome.

anyway, today we are going to the real circus because a) my dad missed it last year, b) my brother was sick and couldnt really enjoy it last year, and c) neither my cousin nor grandma were here last year to see it.

also today, my other cousin is flying over the atlantic to stop here on his way to LA for college, for embassy related stuff and appointments. fun, no? how is this related to the circus, you may ask. well, you know the tiny clown cars with a bajillion clowns stuffed in? that is what our house will be beginning to feel like. our townhouse that is not used to holding any more than our family at a time. the one that barely seems big enough for just us at times. yes, that one, will have all bedrooms, some floors, and a couch occupied. so, if you have any other visitors that need a place to crash for a few days, send em along our way and we'll see how many more we can fit in.

in uncircus related news, i just remembered that a homework assignment assigned twelve years ago is due on wednesday. i don't even have the blank word document yet to give you an idea about how much i've gotten done on it. i dunno how much work it is going to be or how much time i'll get to do it what with the clown car town house and all. have i mentioned that i don't like grad school on this blog yet? well, i dont.

*Circus - Britney Spears

the audience just claps and cheers

some random cool circus trick. imagine being able to ride a unicycle... on a high wire! when i join the circus i can let him teach me.



*Lions Roar - The hush Sound

the lions roar and young men soar

today my sister and i took my mom and brothers to the circus. it was all of our first time, surprising since we're pretty old. anyways, it was a lot of fun. i wasnt a big fan of the animal acts - who knew i had an animal rights activist hidden away inside me. but i thought they were more cruel to the animals than fun to look at. seeing a line of elephants struggle to bow down and roll over made me wince in sympathy rather than cheer. elephants and horses and tigers shouldnt be doing those kind of things - cool as they might be.

i also decided to add another thing to the list of things i really want to do but never will. join a circus. i dont even have to be one the performers, though having a talent like that would be pretty awesome. but just travelling around all the time with them would be cool. i'm a big fan of the traveling. going places - anywhere at all - is awesome. driving in a car, flying in a plane, sailing in a boat, i don't care how, as long as i'm going. it doesnt even matter where, cuz its not the destination its the journey itself that im obsessed with.

and circus people have to be the most interesting people ever. i mean, they come from everywhere, travel everywhere, and can do amazing things. that in itself is enough reason to join a circus. imagine talking to a man who can juggle on a unicycle, having lunch with a tightrope walker, getting coffee with a wild animal trainer. who wouldnt want to do that??

hmm maybe this is the answer to all my problems. instead of worrying about what i want to do with my future, i'll graduate and join the circus. isnt that like the epitome of running away from responsibility?? works for me...

*Lions Roar - The Hush Sound

there's nothing for the kids to do today

i say 'where's waldo' and it's like a wave of nostalgia. cue the wavy fade out into memory. we all remember searching for that little man in the red and white stripes at circuses, parks, and busy city streets. you would think that anyone dressed like that would just jump out at you. but for some odd reason everyone in those books wore stripes, most people wore funny hats, and everything in the background was varying shades of reds and whites. not to mention how crowded they all were. for something so integral to our childhood memories, it's hard to believe that there are people that havent wasted hours of their life searching for waldo or looking for seven paperclips hidden within the pages of an I Spy book.

but, believe it or not, there are. a whole bunch of them in fact. i spoke to a group of girls who didnt even know where's waldo books existed. "i thought it was just a saying from a movie or something," one said. children who have never been introduced to waldo?? granted he's hard to find, but... seriously??

but these same children all had email addresses at the age of 5. they all had cell phones way before i even thought of getting one. they all spend the hours they should be looking for waldo chatting and surfing the web. they play sports through video games, start lemonade stands online, and even pop virtual bubblewrap! for many kids these days, the days of fresh air and nature are just stories from the past of 'old people.' sure everything is still out there, but you can get it all inside your house too.

when i was young, i was never online. ever. true, it didnt really exist back then the same way it does now. but i spent time travelling back in time to egypt, playing doctor to trees, and starting very unsuccessful lemonade stands where our only customer who wasnt family was a lady who stole our lemons.

yes, technology is great. it has done lot to further mankind and whatnot. but at what cost?? is it even really worth it??

overdramatic?? probably. but children these days should experience what we got to experience. sports. games that don't use any type of screen. imagination. my childhood was amazing, and i cant help but feel that kids these days are missing out. they have their whole lives to immerse themselves into technology, but there is only so much time that you can jump off the couch and try to fly without looking completely insane.

cliche as it sounds, children are growing up way too fast. and where does that leave waldo?? hiding at a circus waiting to be found with no one even looking. poor waldo... :(

*Nothing for the Kids - The Holloways