you disappoint me

today is just one of those days where looking at me will get you blacklisted and talking to me should make you fear for your life. you know the kind? i'm trying to read to pass the time until i can eat, but the characters are all annoying me too much.

anyway, it occurred to me that after a couple of posts talking about hurricane irene and the end of the world, i should probably mention how very anticlimactic irene turned out to be. at least for the area i was in. there was some rain, yes, but nothing too bad. we had a little wind, but we've had a lot worse. i couldn't even hear it howling outside, something i actually really like. the electricity didn't flicker, let alone go off. i had phone, internet, and tv up until i went to bed. early. i woke up the next morning to blue skies and sun. there weren't even any puddles outside (at least, nothing i could see from my window). all in all, i was a bit disappointed.

don't get me wrong, i'm thankful that there wasn't any damage for us to deal with, but i was gearing up for a good old storm. i wanted pounding rain and howling winds. i wanted power outages and candlelight. one of my favorite childhood memories happened when i was in fourth grade. we were living in california at the time and it was in the middle of el nino. we had a bad storm and were powerless for what i remember to be the better part of a day, but of course time seemed longer to my nine year old self. it might have just been a few hours. it was during ramadan and my dad cooked the food to break our fast in our fireplace. i remember playing charades by candlelight in my pajamas and how the house seemed different when viewed by flashlight. it was exciting, though we didn't really do anything too out of the ordinary that day. since then i have loved power outages. they bring with them the bittersweet nostalgia that tells of better days.

so to be told that we were having the biggest hurricane in the history of the world and to stock up on food and get ready for loss of power, ending up with a little rain and wind was pretty disappointing.

*Passive - A Perfect Circle

come out of your cave walking on your hands, and see the world hanging upside down

it has been raining for the past few days. a lot. the street has a shallow river flowing down it. the other night, i was looking out the window at the cars in the little circles of street lamp light.

me: i like how the cars look like they're floating on water because of their reflection in the wet street.

my mom: *stares out the window for a while* i dont see it. i guess my mind just is more practical.

we all see the world differently. the lens i look through is sometimes clouded, putting a fictional overlay on reality. everything gets narrated in my head into something beautifully written. people in strange clothes are part of another world i wish i could see into. leaves dont fall off of trees, they float down gently to the ground on the back of a playful wind. animals can talk to each other, and fireflies are fairies. cars float on water.

other times, the lens is scrubbed clean. there are no greys anymore, just blacks and whites. at these times, my mind is void of creativity. it registers what it sees; it does not narrate. leaves dont float to the ground, they fall, not even with the intent of reaching the ground. they fall aimlessly off the trees, the ground is just where they usually end up. people in strange clothes are most likely homeless or psychopaths or both. fireflies are just another variety of a creepy crawly bug. something is beautiful, or it is not, and my mind does nothing to help it along one way or the other.

yesterday, i was walking through the mist/rain trying to explain to someone why i thought it was gorgeous. how the mist on your face is refreshing and that the way the world seems to empty of people as they all run for shelter has a melancholic beauty. how the grey sky forms a perfect backdrop to a hundred different stories, and everything is just so peaceful and pretty. he thought i was psychotic and insisted on going inside with everyone else.

*The Cave - Mumford and Sons

the rain is coming down like oh cats and dogs

so today was raining. huge, cold drops that hurt when they hit you. of course, mason flooded and i spent the day walking through ankle-deep puddles. but the place you notice the rain the most (unless you're from a certain family that is afraid of melting when rain water hits them) is on the road. have you ever noticed how people seem to forget how to drive the second it starts to rain?? it doesnt take much, a simple drizzle will send drivers into a panic. cars won't go faster than 25 mph on a 40 mph street. brake lights seem to never turn off. people swerve into lanes, forget about turn signals, stop signs, and basically everything else that they ever knew about driving. i dont get it. it's a little water people. not that big of a deal. when you cant see in front of you because the rain is coming down so hard, panic. until then, turn on your windshield wipers, ignore the drizzle, and drive like you normally do.

*Let's Get Married - Archie Star

strange how hard it rains now

so this song was on a friend's blog and i have decided that i love it (thanks razan). it's one of those sad songs that i'd listen to on repeat while riding on the bus watching the world zoom by but not really paying it any attention because im too lost in my thoughts. but yeah... i like it.


*Rain - Patty Griffin

a play in the rain is worth catching cold

This weather has been crazy lately, one day everyone is in shorts and t-shirts and the next theyre hidden under puffy jackets, hats and scarfs. Today, it's raining. Personally, I like the rain. I'm kind of obsessed with all forms of weather. I love to walk in the rain - it's just really peaceful because everyone else is hiding like they're the the wicked witch of the west. But today, I can't enjoy it. One, because I'm dressed "professionally" for my class and I don't think dripping wet would be accepted as part of the dress code. Second, there's so much stuff i'm supposed to be doing right now that I really dont have the time. Not that I'm actually doing anything productive at the moment. *sigh*. School sucks. I can't wait for summer.

*Sooner or Later - Michael Tolcher