Monday, October 31, 2011

can't believe it's that time of year again

hey look, the nanowrimo word count is back (over to the left). which means nanowrimo is starting in less than a day. and i still can't decide which story i want to work on, but i'm sure one will rush to the front of my brain when i actually get down to writing tomorrow. it's nothing to worry about, right? right. (i just know this will be like last year when i switch stories halfway through the first week. i can feel it. ugh.) this also means that it's time for me to start my yearly unpaid advertising for nano and tell all of you to join the awesome insanity and write a novel in a month. if you have nothing to do next month, this is a great way to fill your time, but it's extra super awesome if you have school and work and chores and family and tv and a whole bunch of other things that you have to do at the same time. and i can't even describe the feeling i got the first time i held an actual bound book in my hand that i wrote (forget the fact that the plot had holes and the grammar was a bit off, it was still awesome). just do it for that feeling. so anyway, sign up at, add me as a friend (sarah_k), and start a novel tomorrow. trust me, you won't regret it.

in other exciting news... um... actually, to be honest there's really nothing exciting going on in my life as usual. i'm babysitting my nephew on wednesday and i'm excited for that because i think he's way too attached to his mom, but i don't think that will interest any of you too much. my grandma will be coming down soon, and that's always fun. but i won't be living in the same house so i dunno how much i'll actually get to see her. today is halloween, but since i don't really do anything for halloween it's not really exciting. and besides that, there's nothing really going on. oh except for all of the really cool stuff i've been learning in class which i think is awesome but don't really want to bore all of you with cause you might not be as dorky as i am.

*That Time of Year - Sick Puppies

Sunday, October 30, 2011

i'll play guitar and knit and cook and basically just wonder when will my life begin?

so yesterday i went to get my hair cut, and i almost had a heart attack. with every clip of the scissors breathing became more and more difficult. i usually just take a few inches off the bottom, but yesterday i cut off an entire foot (possibly more?). i mean, it's still technically "long" in the sense of the word that any hair under the shoulder blades is long, but it feels so short. last night i was braiding it and half of my braid was missing. i don't know how people can cut their hair short.

also, yesterday we had snow. in october. it was weird. and today it is sunny. the weather is obviously on crack. but i got to wear my koala hat and an old man complimented me on it. you can guess how cool i felt.

on another note, i didn't want to be reading a book when nanowrimo started because i've noticed that my mind tends to unintentionally transfer stuff from the story i'm reading to the story i'm writing. not plagiarism or anything, but i was reading the help the other day and all my characters stared to talk with a southern twang they didnt have a week before. plus, it's harder to write crap when you're reading something that is not crap. very discouraging. so anyway, after i finished my last book i didn't pick up another and to fill the time i've been knitting. and washing dishes. and doing laundry. and baking. and i feel like rapunzel in the beginning of tangled. minus the book reading.

has anyone else noticed that october is taking a really long time to finish? usually september is the long month and october flies by. maybe only having one class this semester is messing with my [insert proper word here cause i can't think of it].

*When Will My Life Begin? - Mandy Moore

Saturday, October 29, 2011

all the small things

sometimes i wonder about the small things that disappear with a person when s/he dies. the little nuances in character that really made the person unique. the things that some people may have never even known about them. take me for example, when i die, people may remember that i liked books, but would they remember which book i read when i was feeling depressed? which one i read for light reading during stressful days? which ones held my favorite characters and which i couldn't stand? would they remember that i used scraps of whatever for bookmarks - receipts, tags, gum wrappers, ticket stubs - and that the bookmarks would stay in the books to be used forever after that? they may remember that i liked to write, but would they remember which pieces i was most proud of? would they remember that my favorite punctuation was the question mark or that i could never really write anything worthwhile when i was happy? would they know that anything creative was written with openoffice writer instead of ms word and why? would they remember my many insecurities or just that i handed out cockiness by the bucketful?

when people die (or even just leave, but you know, i prefer the morbid), the ones they leave behind tend to remember memories about them instead of the people themselves. they remember what they want and who they want. the random pieces that made them a whole person are lost somewhere in the dirt they're buried in. 

for future reference, here are some of the random things that make me me:

[one] the streaks left in the carpet after vacuuming make me happy.
[two] folding clothes is the bane of my existence.
[three] my favorite place is the ocean. large bodies of water fill me with a mixture of hope and sadness that makes my chest tight.
[four] i'm not a fan of feet.
[five] half of what i say is quoted from a book/movie/tv show.
[six] i don't like even numbers.
[seven] i like to sit in traffic and listen to good music.
[eight] growing up, all of my toys were boys. even now, most of my stuff that i name get boys' names (joe, junior, jj). 
[nine] i've always regretted the fact that i never took a real english/writing/literature class since ap english in high school.
[ten] i hate change because the unknown brings with it a higher risk of failure, and failure is my biggest fear. 
[eleven] i don't ask for help from others.
[twelve] i like the feel of sore muscles after exercising, but rarely have the will power to get up and exercise.
[thirteen] i get buyers remorse over just about anything, so it takes me forever to actually buy something.
[fourteen] colored socks make me happy. 
[fifteen] my favorite number is fifteen, followed by seven and nine. 

*All the Small Things - Blink 182

Thursday, October 27, 2011

don't tell me you don't know

i can't remember which class it was, or even if it was high school or undergrad, but i remember once learning about the origins/meanings behind nursery rhymes and finding them fascinating. i recently came across the meaning behind "peter, peter, pumpkin eater" and my interest was rekindled. my interpretation growing up of some of them was so off base it's ridiculous. here are a few rhymes, what i thought they meant, and what they really mean.

baa baa black sheep,
have you any wool?
yes sir, yes sir, three bags full:
one for my master, one for my dame, 
one for the little boy who lives down the lane

growing up, i thought with full conviction that this was just about a talking black sheep who had three bags of wool to give to specific people. 

i was originally taught that this rhyme was about the taxes people were suffering from in 1275 to the fifteenth century when they had to give, roughly, one third to the king and one third to the church and only keep one third for themselves. apparently now people are arguing this origin, but being the first one i ever learned, i thought i'd put it here anyway. 

fun fact: baa baa black sheep was one of the first songs ever to be digitally recorded and played on a computer in 1951.

jack sprat could eat no fat,
his wife could eat no lean,
and so between the two of them
they licked the platter clean.

growing up, i thought this was about a married couple with digestion problems. jack could eat nothing fatty and his wife only like fatty things. they were a perfect match because they could perfectly finish a plate between them.

instead, jack sprat is reputed to be king charles the first, and his wife henrietta maria. king charles apparently wanted to wage war on spain, but parliament wouldn't finance it (so he was lean). he dismembered parliament and his wife imposed an illegal war tax (to get some fat). 

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
jack fell down and broke his crown,
and jill came tumbling after.

this of course was about two kids who went to a well on the top of the hill. i always believed that jack fell own, broke his head, and died which made jill faint and she tumbled down the hill too. she didn't die, though.

the roots of this rhyme lay in france, and the title characters refer to king louis xvi and queen marie antoinette. during the reign of terror, he was beheaded first (lost his crown) and she followed. 

peter, peter, pumpkin eater
had a wife but couldn't keep her.
he put her in a pumpkin shell,
and there he kept her very well.

i always (up until recently) thought this was about a dude named peter that couldn't keep his wife. (my reasons for this ranged from he didn't have a house to it was a secret marriage.) anyway, he sticks her in a huge pumpkin house, and they live happily every after.

this rhyme was started in america to warn young girls away from infidelity. apparently, peter's wife wasn't the most faithful. his way to deal with this was to kill her and hide her body in a pumpkin shell. after that, he could make sure she never betrayed him. 

*Over It - Relient K

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

what do you think of me?

a couple of days days ago, i bought a few round knitting looms because i'm just really cool like that. my sister saw them in my car and asked what i was going to make, and this was the subsequent conversation.

me: hats. lots of hats.
her: why?
me: i'm making them for SPEW.
her: SPEW?
me: yeah, you know, the society for the promotion of elfish warfare... to protect the rights of house elves.
her: huh?
me: harry potter, stupid. it was in the last book of the series that you read... hermione made a bunch of hats to liberate the house elves.
her: oh.

the next day she came over and started making a hat of her own. while she's knitting, she asks, "so who are you giving these to again? elves?" i laugh and say, "yeah, to free them," thinking she had realized that i wasn't serious the night before. apparently, she hadn't, which i realized a few minutes later into the conversation. that was when i started to laugh at her and she started to defend herself and then say that if there was a charity event to give hats to the homeless for winter and they used the SPEW thing, they would be very successful.

i'm not sure which is worse: the fact that she believed that i was making hats for fictional characters or the fact that me making hats for fictional characters is believable.

anyway, i'm about halfway done with my first hat. it's coming out smaller than i was expecting (that's what i get for listening to my sister and husband and using the smaller loom) but it's still pretty awesome. i've never made a hat before.

*So Damn Beautiful - Polaroid

Sunday, October 23, 2011

brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things

this morning, i made peanut butter cookies. i have a really bad history with homemade peanut butter cookies. they either turn out way to salty (we had this cookie recipe book that apparently thought salt was the best flavor for every cookie under the sun) or like watery and gross (that was when my sister made them) or something else goes wrong. but today's cookies were fantastic. the fact that there are only two left from the two and a half dozen that came out of the oven this morning can attest to that. the recipe is officially going into my favorites. oh, and i also think that my oven has decided to like me (finally), so there's that. overall a successful day for baking.

completely switching gears here, but for the last five or so years of my life, i have been known to ask hopefully every time anyone checks the mail if there is anything for me. there rarely ever is, and when i do get mail it's usually a credit card offer. sad, i know. but lately, the mail has been quite exciting for me. for the past week, i have opened the mail box to find packages from my grandma. packages! for me! is there anything more exciting? (well, except for the fact that she seem to alternate between spelling my name with and without the "h" at the end when i am definitely an h kinda person, but i forgive her because i'm understanding like that.) they have mostly been stuff about travel and attractions (i think she's trying to tell me something) and my list of places i must see before i die has grown ridiculously. i also got a prize for a raffle i won (free little gym membership for my nephew) and coupons for free ice cream and it's just all over wonderful.

speaking of raffles and winning, i've noticed that i've become luckier since my marriage. i can count the number of contests and raffles i won before i got married on one hand and still use that hand pretty well. but whenever i mention the fact that i'm married now, i win. case in point: i filled out a survey when in first got married (it was the first time i put my status as married on a form. huge moment.) and won one of the three gift cards to the gap they were giving out. case in point: i filled out a raffle ticket at a fall festival recently and had to put my "spouse's name" and ended up winning one hundred and thirty five dollars worth of gym classes for my nephew. i'm trying to think of a third case in point to make myself sound more convincing, but i really don't  get the opportunity to enter many raffles.

anyway, good cookies, packages, and raffle luck. my day (read: week) went well.

*My Favorite Things - The Sound of Music Soundtrack

Thursday, October 20, 2011

you want thingamabobs? i've got twenty! but who cares? no big deal

it feels like, as a society, we are taught to value nouns. we are constantly striving to obtain the nouns in life. people, places, things. money, love, happiness. we like to collect things and judge others on the size of their collections. i'm better than her because of the clothes i'm wearing. i'm jealous of him because he lives in a bigger house.

verbs are only accepted as the necessary way to get to a noun. the more verbs you go through, the better the noun, but the verbs are otherwise disposable. happiness is better than being happy. we go around looking for the love of our life, forgetting to actually be in love. we strive for knowledge, but the act of learning is something we do grudgingly. we want peace but don't want to get along. actions are too common. they are the things that are better hidden under the rug, pushed into the shadow of the trophy we can put on display.

your verb is only accepted if you have the nouns to back it up. a person who writes is not a writer until s/he has a book to prove it. a person who cooks is not chef without a restaurant to cook in. we need a ribbon at the end of a race to validate running around the track.

why can't we just be content with verbs? why does the end have to justify the means to make the journey worthwhile? why can't we just enjoy the journey itself?

when we value life more than living, it's easy to fear death and forget that every minute we are dying.

*Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid Soundtrack

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

it's a beautiful day

today is just one of those days when the weather is perfect and there's good food and i can't seem to stop yawning and i've been productive and lazy at the same time and i kind of just want to sit and stare off into the distance for the rest of eternity. you know the ones?

anyway, i was resubmitting a form for my phd application in person this morning because mason is pernickety and can't seem to understand the concept that if i had in-state tuition for undergrad, and i had in-state tuition for my masters, and i haven't left the state, that i should get in-state tuition for my phd... you know, if i get accepted and everything. so i'm giving in my form and the admissions person says, "are you anisah's sister?" which i am and had to confess to, but it struck me how for most of my life i've been referred to as someone's sister. i'm rarely just me, and i think i might kind of like to be once and a while.

i don't think i'll be able to do much concentrating in class tonight. it feels like i haven't been to class in years because last week's was cancelled and i think i might have forgotten how to go to class and sit and pay attention and learn. if ever there was a day when classes should be cancelled so we could all contemplate the whiteness of the walls, today is it. i think the breeze coming in through the window is messing with my brain.

a part of me really wants to sleep right now. another parts wants to go sit outside and let the sun beat on my back and read the book that for some reason is taking me forever to read. instead, i have to keep reminding myself that i have a class to go to tonight. yawn.

since i can't seem to hold on to a point here, please enjoy this video that i find quite awesome.

*Beautiful Day - U2

Sunday, October 16, 2011

there's too much food on my plate

i woke up today, took a shower, and then made myself a grilled bagel (have i ever mentioned my love for grilled bagels on here? i lovelovelove them) with banana peppers for breakfast. my husband had a cheddar cheese omelet and toast with jam and butter. we just opened our fridge and everything was right there waiting for us to devour it. fresh and packaged and kept cool by electricity. when breakfast comes this easily to you, it's sometimes hard not to take it for granted.

but for a lot of the world, fridges filled with food is not something to sneeze at. for some people, it's about as unobtainable as unicorns and leprechauns. we all grew up with our parents telling us to finish our plates because there were starving children in africa. as we grow older, we are asked to do more for these children than just eat our vegetables. and with the entire world in a recession, it's not only the children in africa who are starving anymore. when you have a fridge full of food, it's the least you can do to try and help those who don't. just being more conscientious about the food crisis is a step in the right direction, though there are several places you could go to donate money. you could also look up your local food bank and donate stuff there. there are easier ways to help, too, like playing online games like free rice which donates twenty grains of rice for every correct vocabulary word you get.

while still debating about what to write for this year's blog action day, i came across this site which has ten facts about food that i found really cool. for example, did you know that the color of the twisty-tie thing on bread changes in accordance with which day the bread was baked? or how about that sodas are called soft drinks because soft drinks were those with no alcohol, as compared to "hard drinks?" you know how twinkies supposedly last forever? yeah, well, their shelf life is really only twenty five days. i'll let you all go read through the rest yourself, but there were some really cool things on there.

anyway, food. stop taking it for granted.

*Too Much Food - Jason Mraz

Saturday, October 15, 2011

i watch my dreams die

i'm drowning in still-born dreams, getting tangled up in hopes i spun in moments of delusion, choking on wishes i now refuse to voice. i'm cursing my stupidity and tearing up the pages of my past, setting fire to older starry-eyed versions of myself and burying the ashes three hundred feet below ground. i'm stomping on the dirt and booking a one way trip to the moon to get as far away from them as i can.

i'm crying myself dry and peeling off the skin i spent years growing. i'm pulling out treacherous veins and twisting my tongue to squeeze out all offending words. i'm a garage sale of parts you can get for a bargain. buy my smile for two broken promises, my fingers for the sound of popping bubbles and one gilded lie. i'll trade you my mind for your stubborn logic and throw in years of blood, sweat, and tears for free. take everything i have; it was never worth much.

my heart is beating out seventy-six rejections a minute, my lungs inhaling disappointment and exhaling failure. i'm in this race to lose because it's the only thing i'm good at. i collect criticisms and bruises, put them on display under the glaring light of reality. i watch my reflection as the twinkle leaves my eye and what i used to call stardust turns my world a drab, colorless imitation of what i pretended it was. i'm sending my imaginary friends packing and forgetting to exchange emails.

dress me in assembly line grey, and take back my imagination. i don't want it, i don't need it, it never did me much good. turn my magic into technology and my art into science. fit me with blinders and give me a map of how to live my life. hand me a check list and i will follow it religiously. turn me into a robot and i will march to the beat of your drum. mine was always off-tune anyway. tell me what to be, and i will be it. tell me what not to be, and i will watch the possibilities sprout wings and fly away.

i give up. i give up. i give up.

*False Hope - Taking Back Sunday

Thursday, October 13, 2011

you've got to get yourself together, you've got stuck in a moment, and now you can't get out of it

Procrastination is my soul mate. he's my lifelong companion, the one i can always count on. he snuck into my room one day when Responsibility first introduced herself to me, and i swore my life to him then. we make secret clubs, and he tells me jokes behind Responsibility's back. Being older, Responsibility feels that it's her job to keep us in line, but she can't say anything when, really, we're not doing anything wrong. the fact that we don't do things her way has always rubbed her the wrong way, and that's made it hard for the three of us to ever really become friends. but i've always respected her. it's hard not to.

Apathy and i go way back. i met her when she was still going by "i don't care" and my parents chose all my clothes. most people i knew back then didn't like her, she still hasn't grown on very many, but that's never bothered her. she really couldn't care less. we used to throw rocks at Motivation on the playground - not one of my proudest moments - and i don't think Motivation ever really got over it. she still stays clear of the two of us. Apathy and i have one of those friendships when we can sit for hours together and just do nothing, say nothing, and think nothing without the pressing need for action weighing down on us. we thought about doing something the other day, but we couldn't get excited enough about it.

a couple of weeks ago, Lethargy came over asking for a place to stay for a day or two. at first i thought it was my old friend Laziness just going through a hard time, but i was quick to realize my mistake. Laziness has a charm about him that Lethargy lacks, like the attraction of dishevelment, crooked smiles, and stubble. Lethargy has all the charm of a growing mold. He has not just taken over my couch, but my entire apartment. even the air seems infected with the listlessness the rest of us are feeling. i think it's time for Lethargy to move on, but i can't seem to muster the energy to kick him out.

i'm hoping that november will bring with it Insanity and Obsession. i met them a couple of years ago after deciding to take part in nanowrimo for the first time and they have a way about them that i'm sure will scare Lethargy off. or, at least i hope it will. if they can't help me then i may just have to go play nice with the good habits, and i've been alienating them lately. i'm not sure if they'll forgive me.

*Stuck in a Moment - U2

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

it's been a long day

today was a long day. a long, long day. today started at four when my body decided that it just wouldn't go back to sleep to avoid hitting snooze on my alarm one too many times. it also decided to spend the next hour and a half until my alarm actually went off and i got out of bed covering and uncovering myself because it couldn't decide if it was hot or cold. after leaving the house before the sun was even considering coming out for the day, i went over to my parents house to pick up my sister. together, along with my husband who was acting as driver before i could really wake up, we made our way over to the testing center to finally take our gre's. i thought i was unprepared last time because the only "studying" i did was to take an online practice test and a half. that was the last time i prepared for this test. add that to the fact that my brain was not fully functioning yet (while waiting for the building to open i was completely slaphappy. the radio played that no no no cat, and i was dying of laughter over it among other things) and i was pretty worried, though my mind didn't realize it at the time. thankfully, once i finally was able to sit in front of the computer and get the test started, my mind and body automatically went into test mode, a comfortable place for me. when i got my result range at the end, i was happy enough with it that i don't think i'm going to bother with a retest.

after the test my sister, husband, and i went out for a bagel breakfast. again. i swear that ever since my brother-in-law introduced us to this bagel place a few years ago a huge chunk of its profits has come from my sisters and i.

later in the day i went to my parents house and say with my mom, sister, and nephews. then my cousin and her husband and my dad came home. (did i mention that my cousin and her husband made a stop in DC to see us on their honeymoon? no? well, consider it mentioned.) that meant pretending i wasn't tired and being my semi-fake version of me that i use with some of my cousins that i am not particularly close to. the overly laughing and smiling and polite version. once my brothers came home we went out to olive garden. when we got home i helped my brothers with their homework, did a bit of reading with them, and then sat on the couch and alternated between reading my book and watching criminal minds with my parents.

i left my parents' house at ten, got home, couldn't find my computer and searched the apartment for it until finally finding it between the couch cushions. and here i am, blogging this in the commercial breaks of top chef: just desserts. and i am tired and can't wait until my head hits my pillow.

oh, and steve jobs died today. you know, in case you didn't know. must have been a long-ish day for him too.

*Long Day - Matchbox 20 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

i'm sorry for the way i am

i think that it's just about time for me to issue a formal apology to the members of the IT community for being, as my brothers would say, "a suckish IT person."

i would like to apologize for the fact that i am perhaps the last person on earth that doesn't have a smart phone. the crappy thing i've been carrying around for the past three years or so came free from the phone company, has the memory of the proverbial goldfish, and has a camera that's not even good enough to be measured in megapixels. but to be completely honest, i hate phones and really don't think spending hundreds of dollars on something that will stay in a pocket or bag ignored for days is a very good investment. i always said i was too practical to be cool.

i am sorry that i prefer ink to pixels. i know that ereaders are the coolest thing since the ibm personal computer. they're practical and efficient and good for the environment. they're portable and convenient and everything else. i know all that, i really do. i have an ereader that i love. i named him and everything. but i will always prefer the actual turning of pages over pressing a button, and i am sorry that that is so terribly un-IT of me.

i apologize for choosing novels over computer manuals and personal blogs over info security ones. i'm sorry that the idea of a computer convention does not send chills of excitement running up and down my spine. i apologize for not keeping up with all of the technological advances happening every day. i know i should be more excited for my wired magazine to come than for my writer's digest, but most of the time i'm just not. i'm sorry that i don't want to electronify the entire world. i'm sorry.

i've seen the looks and and rolled eyes. i've heard the snickers and words whispered behind cupped hands.i know. but before you kick me out, i'd just like to say that i'm really not bad at this whole computer thing, and i actually do like it. well, most of the time. i've been studying it for a while, and that's got to count for something. i think the IT crowd is hilarious, read xkcd comics, and honestly laugh at most tech jokes. i may someday even make great contributions to the field, though my lack of ambition makes me think that i probably won't. but who knows? you may one day regret taking away my IT badge. so what do you say we just pretend that i'm not a total disgrace to computer nerds everywhere and let bygones be bygones?

oh, and just in case any of you were wondering, i baked cookies yesterday, and they were delicious. oven: 3, sarah: 1.

*Cold - Crossfade

Monday, October 3, 2011

sail away, kill off the hours, you belong somewhere you feel free

i really want to write. or bake. or paint. or cook. or basically do anything that can be considered even slightly creative. i have that itch that makes me not want to turn into a fat blob of boringness. unfortunately, my body decided to have a civil war and there's a battle raging in my throat at the moment and someone's cannon keeps misfiring and sending shots to my head. also, my apartment has taken the change of weather as inspiration to start a new career. he's trying his luck as a refrigerator right now. i'm not sure if the chills and goosebumps are because of the war or the refusal to warm up, but any longer like this and i might as well give up my human card and turn into a full fledged bird. hey, at least they get to leave when it gets cold. (though chilly fall days and cold winter ones are usually some of my favorite days of the year.)

i think baking chocolate chip cookies would help the soldiers agree on a peace treaty and the apartment realize that refrigerators never get to smell like fresh baked cookies and pretty much make the world a better place, but i can't drag myself off this couch and out from under this blanket, and it's very sad. especially because i've been wanting to bake cookies for a very long time, and there's always something that comes up to stop me.

i also woke up to find that snow white was not keeping a very good eye on her dwarfs and that grumpy (who was always my favorite) has decided to possess me. yup, he's living inside my head at this very moment. he'd say hi, but he doesn't really like you all that much. and grumpy people just do not go around baking cookies and whistling while they work. (do any of you remember what book it was that had snow white really fat and evil and the dwarfs were pretty much her slaves? was that the book of lost things? does anyone know? i'm usually the person people come to with these kinds of questions. it's annoying me that i don't know.)

anyway, i'm going to continue listlessly flipping through web pages and hoping that i suddenly decide to get up and bake.

oh, and as for the title, tom petty's widlflowers has been stuck in my head lately. i have no idea why since i really haven't listened to it since the summer.

*Wildflowers - Tom Petty

Sunday, October 2, 2011

you're a star in nobody's eyes but mine

i was watching moulin rouge! last night, and don't you just love that movie? i think it may be one of my absolute favorites of all time. which is why it always surprises me when i can't get anyone to watch it. it took me four years to get my cousin to watch it. four. years. and even then i basically tricked her into it. but she liked it, like i knew she would. my sister would never watch it because she "doesn't like sad things." another cousin doesn't like things that are "about old times." and hardly anyone i know will watch a musical with me.

but this isn't a post about the stubbornness and bad movie taste of people i know.

when i was watching the movie, falling even more in love with ewan mcgregor (a common side effect) i decided that he is way to underrated. he has acting talent, an amazing voice, and good looks (though i know a lot of people who would argue with me on that one). but yet, he just never seems to make it to the top lists of most people. and i find that sad.

on another note completely, i recently read geek love and while i was reading it, especially at the beginning, i was more repulsed and disturbed than anything else. now that it's finished, i just want to go back and reread it. that's been happening a lot with me lately. i'll be reading a book and think it's great, and then put it down at the best part for no apparent reason. i'll wash the dishes and fold the laundry and there's really no pull to go back to reading. and other books i feel underwhelmed by, i feel like they're not living up to the potential of the story or the characters, and yet i can't seem to put them down without wanting to pick them right back up.

*Andy, You're a Star - The Killers