Saturday, October 29, 2011

all the small things

sometimes i wonder about the small things that disappear with a person when s/he dies. the little nuances in character that really made the person unique. the things that some people may have never even known about them. take me for example, when i die, people may remember that i liked books, but would they remember which book i read when i was feeling depressed? which one i read for light reading during stressful days? which ones held my favorite characters and which i couldn't stand? would they remember that i used scraps of whatever for bookmarks - receipts, tags, gum wrappers, ticket stubs - and that the bookmarks would stay in the books to be used forever after that? they may remember that i liked to write, but would they remember which pieces i was most proud of? would they remember that my favorite punctuation was the question mark or that i could never really write anything worthwhile when i was happy? would they know that anything creative was written with openoffice writer instead of ms word and why? would they remember my many insecurities or just that i handed out cockiness by the bucketful?

when people die (or even just leave, but you know, i prefer the morbid), the ones they leave behind tend to remember memories about them instead of the people themselves. they remember what they want and who they want. the random pieces that made them a whole person are lost somewhere in the dirt they're buried in. 

for future reference, here are some of the random things that make me me:

[one] the streaks left in the carpet after vacuuming make me happy.
[two] folding clothes is the bane of my existence.
[three] my favorite place is the ocean. large bodies of water fill me with a mixture of hope and sadness that makes my chest tight.
[four] i'm not a fan of feet.
[five] half of what i say is quoted from a book/movie/tv show.
[six] i don't like even numbers.
[seven] i like to sit in traffic and listen to good music.
[eight] growing up, all of my toys were boys. even now, most of my stuff that i name get boys' names (joe, junior, jj). 
[nine] i've always regretted the fact that i never took a real english/writing/literature class since ap english in high school.
[ten] i hate change because the unknown brings with it a higher risk of failure, and failure is my biggest fear. 
[eleven] i don't ask for help from others.
[twelve] i like the feel of sore muscles after exercising, but rarely have the will power to get up and exercise.
[thirteen] i get buyers remorse over just about anything, so it takes me forever to actually buy something.
[fourteen] colored socks make me happy. 
[fifteen] my favorite number is fifteen, followed by seven and nine. 

*All the Small Things - Blink 182


  1. anonymous hippopotamusOctober 29, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    omg me too!!! i love the streaks in the carpet!!!
    i hate folding clothes tooo!!!
    i love the ocean but not because it makes me chest tight...because it makes me feel relaxed...and its just so astoundingly beautiful and peaceful.
    i like sitting in traffic and listening to good music too...unless im in a rush. lol
    eight is a lie! have you forgotten about laura and rosie?? your water baby was named rosie right?
    nine, why didn't you take one as an elective? you could have taken an extra class..
    i hate change because its scary.
    i dont ask for help either..i hate it.
    really?? you like feeling sore? thats so weird!
    haha i get buyers remorse before i buy things. :D
    i miss colored socks...i think i'll go buy a few
    i thought seven was your favorite number...or is seven everyone in the worlds favorite number?? yeah i think i'm is everyones lucky number..right?

    lol i turned this into a compare and contrast.

    but im curious about your books...for some reason my mind keeps thinking ella enchanted is your depression book...

  2. i find the ocean calm and peaceful and awe-worthy, too, i just didn't mention it.
    and eight is not a lie. i meant all of my stuff that didn't come pre-gendered. like my stuffed animals and whatnot.
    i had all my honors classes as electives, and then i dunno it just never fit. i didn't want to take an extra semester just for an english class.
    and yeah seven is the universal lucky number.
    and no ella enchanted is not my depression book. it's one of my nostalgia books, though.

  3. anonymous hippopotamusOctober 29, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    ok blog post about your books.

  4. anonymous hippopotamusOctober 29, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    btw..list of shows you should watch:

    2 Broke Girls
    New Girl
    Hart of Dixie
    Up All Night
    umm i think thats it..

  5. i watched an episode of 2 broke girls with daddy. it was awkward. and i don't watch tv anymore. it's really sad. choose one of those shows and i'll try my best to follow it.

  6. oh, preferably one on a thursday or friday.

  7. anonymous hippopotamusOctober 30, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    just watch it on hulu! i'm choosing two.. new girl which you can watch on hulu, and hart of dixie which you can watch on cwtv.