your head will collapse, but there's nothing in it and you'll ask yourself, "where is my mind?"

i was sitting on my bed this morning trying my hardest to work up the motivation to start an assignment that may or may not be due tomorrow night, but my brain could just not focus on the fact that homework needs to be done. it preferred to stay tangled in fictional plots and get lost in the lyrics of my music and basically just avoid reality. it has completely shut off, abandoned me in my time of need. i think there are too many things fighting for my attention that my brain has taken the easy way out and just decided to ignore everything - the good, the bad, and the greys in between. nothing going on right now can hold my attention long enough to matter. i just don't want to think about anything. my thoughts are completely consumed by books, movies, music, and basically any other mindless form of escape from reality they can find. this means that i'm getting a lot of reading done, which is great, but not a whole bunch of anything else. anything that ends with -work is hopeless, conversations take more effort than they should, writing requires too much brainpower to attempt.

yes, avoidance is probably not the smartest or healthiest course of action right now, but what can i say? it's always been my go-to method for dealing with things and change just seems like too much trouble at the moment. i did manage to finish the paper due tonight, so i'm not too pressed about this yet, but i figure i'll need to jump-start my brain soon and start to think, process, and deal. let me tell you, the prospect does not sound too appealing.

also, the light breeze coming in through my window seems to be designed for the sole purpose of scattering thoughts and who am i to argue with nature? or with amazon, for that matter, which is contributing to my runaway mind with their rewards of music and movie credits. think or download a bunch of new songs that amazon will kindly pay for? i think it's pretty obvious what i'm choosing to spend the rest of the day on.

*Where Is My Mind - Pixies