Wednesday, September 11, 2013

really, really bad idea

i have never talked about my birth control on here because a) it's really no one's business, b) i really don't think any of you care, and c) the few times it has come up in real life conversations i end up getting lectured forever about "how bad it is for my body" and how by taking it "i will never be able to have babies ever." but the company that makes my birth control made the stupidest decision ever recently, and i need to get out how much i hate them for it.

i used to take loestrin 24. when i went to refill my prescription a couple of weeks ago, the pharmacist kindly told me that the company stopped making loestrin 24 and i would need my doctor to call in and tell them that i could take minastrin 24 instead, which is what the company now makes. (quick sidenote: i think that CVS and my doctor could have maybe handled this before i ran out of pills. CVS people were very, "yeaaah so this happened and we decided to just not tell you about it when we said you could come pick up the meds so that we could tell you in person after making you drive over here for no reason so that maybe you'll buy a candy bar since you're already here." and my doctor's secretary was like, "*sigh* all of you people on loestrin are calling about this. i wish there was maybe a way that we could have made it easier on you and ourselves by calling the pharmacy and letting them know we were okay with the switch as soon as we found out about it. kind of like the way we called the pharmacy and told them to give you (and the rest of our patients) the summer's worth of pills at one time in case you traveled even though you didn't ask us to. of course, that would mean we were helpful when you needed it and not when our help was pretty pointless, but let the pharmacy fax us something and when your doctor is here she'll sign it.")

but back to the pharmacist. so she's telling me that the company switched to minastrin and it's pretty much the exact same as loestrin but with a new name and blah blah blah. "oh," she adds, "and now it's chewable." after seeing the look on my face (and i think i said ewwwww what?) she said, "yeah my sister hates it."

can i just ask who the idiot was that decided to make chewable birth control? like, the pills are super tiny anyway. it's not like they were hard to swallow at. all. and i am not a four year old child who can't swallow a pill. i'm kind of hoping that everyone on the pill is old enough to know how to swallow them.

anyway, i get the pill and ask the pharmacist if i have to chew them. she tells me that i really should. they'll be more effective or whatever cause they were made to be chewed. okay. so i take the first one, pop the tiny little thing in my mouth, and start chewing. "this isn't so bad," i say to my husband who i had spent the previous fifteen minutes complaining about chewable things to. "it's kind of sweet." and then, once the pill was fully crushed in my mouth, it hit. like a barrel of toxic waste assaulting my senses. it tasted worse than anything i have ever tasted ever in my entire life. i was going to be sick, i just knew it. so i started to dramatically gag and whine and stuff ritz crackers into my mouth to cover the taste. which lingered long after the pill was gone. it was horrible.

needless to say, i am now swallowing the stupid thing and strongly thinking of switching to a brand smart enough to know that making birth control chewable is just a really bad idea. (the guy behind this decision makes me think of the marketing team that decided mcdonald's new slogan should be "i'd tap that." how do these guys get jobs is what i'm wondering.)

*Bad Idea (Retarded) - Ben Folds Five

6 comments:

  1. Gross! I hate chewable meds. They never taste good.
    I know you didn't ask for any advice, but I was on the NuvaRing for years and loved it! I am way too forgetful to remember to take a pill every day, so it was perfect. Plus, I'm really sensitive to fluctuating hormone levels, and since the hormones from the NuvaRing are constant (instead of peaking right after you take a pill), I had fewer hormone-related symptoms (after the first month on it, which wasn't great.) Just my two cents. :)

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    1. i always like to get advice. nuvaring has always kind of freaked me out a bit. i feel like i would be very conscious of it all the time. also, knowing me, i'd probably put it in wrong or something and get it lost in my body and never be able to get it out again lol. but i can be forgetful with the pill, too (i'll go weeks taking it perfectly and then all of a sudden completely forget that i'm on it) so maybe i should get over my fear/squeamishness and check it out. especially if all birth control decides to go the chewable route.

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  2. I swear it's the exact same pill as Loestrin, but they slapped a different label on it. I'm too afraid to just swallow it, though.

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    1. right? i do not understand what the point was. at all. i am in awe of you, though, because i really don't think i could chew it ever again. i don't have the courage. so kudos to you. you're a stronger person than i am.

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  3. It was a money issue. Drug companies can only keep a patent on their brand for so long before they must release it for other companies to make generic versions of it. Generics do not cost as much as brand names. The company that made Loestrin decided to simply stop making it, change it to a chewable type, give it a different name, and now they can still charge brand-name price for it.

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    1. i figured it was something like this. and i guess money-wise it was a good decision, but common-sense-wise and what's-good-for-customers-wise, it really sucks.

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