Tuesday, November 22, 2011

it's been a really, really messed up week

november 2011 takes the cake for being the worst month ever.

to put you in the right perspective for this next story, you have to understand that lately i've been in one of those moods where finding out you've run out of milk makes you want to collapse on the kitchen floor in sobs and just die right there, where the death of a fly feels like the death of an entire country and you just want to mourn it forever, you know the kind? anyway, everything is blown way out of proportion, and of course this when stuff actually happens.

so i was in a store parking lot today starting to pull out of my spot when a van came down the aisle or lane or whatever the space between the parking spots is called. i'm waiting for it to pass and another car comes from the other direction and has to wait for the van too since he's kind of driving in the middle of the lane. the van passes and the lady in the other car waves her hand. i assume she's telling me to go ahead so she could take my spot. the parking lot was kinda crowded. so i move forward half an inch, notice she's starting to move forward too, and stop. i'm not exaggerating when i say that the car barely moved at all. it didn't come anywhere near her car, and i stopped immediately. instead of just continuing on, she stops and pounds on her horn like it gives her a power boost she desperately needs. she then gives an extra long beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and i'm just sitting there waiting for her to move thinking, "are you kidding me?"

anyway, because that isn't enough (i assume because it's getting no reaction from me), she throws open her door and storms over to my car. my window was opened a bit and she starts screaming into it. here's the conversation we had:

her (in a very, very thick accent): what is your problem?
me (very calmly): i'm sorry, i thought you wanted my spot. when i realized you didn't, i stopped.
her: i don't know what country you come from or how it is over there, but here in america we don't do shit like that. the one driving has the right of way.
me: *i refrain from pointing out how ironic it is that she's telling me about how "we do things in america" when, out of the two of us, i'm the one that can actually speak english and has probably lived here longer, and give her that patient-ish stare you give a child throwing a temper tantrum as you wait for them to realize how immature and ineffectual they're being.*
her: maybe you should go back to your country.
me: *continue to stare at her*
her: or maybe if you took that scarf off you could see. (for those of you that don't know me/haven't seen me, i wear a headscarf.)
me: *continue to stare at her*

after a minute or so of this she stomps back to her car, slams her door shut behind her, and drives past me, honking a few hundred times for good measure.

now, if it was a normal day, i would have just laughed this off. i probably still wouldn't have said anything back to her because i really don't see the point in arguing with idiots. if you're being stupid, no matter who you are, all you're likely to get from me is silence, and maybe a look or two. but because it was today, because everything else seems to be falling apart despite my desperate attempts to hold it all together, i just wanted to turn around, go home, crawl into bed, and never come out. and it wasn't because what she said upset me; it didn't. i'm just waiting for that last proverbial straw, i'm looking for it with eyes wide open, just waiting to welcome with open arms: the excuse for me to completely break down. i think i may need to.

*Tonight, Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae


  1. Been the same here... a month where everything is a disaster and you wanna curl up away from the world and hide forever and cry

  2. ugh yes, exactly. i can't wait for this month to be over. hopefully december will be better.

  3. I would have punched her in the face. No, wait, I wouldn't have. I would have thrown up on her face.

  4. My initial reaction to conflict is avoidance, but part of me really, really wanted to.

  5. sometimes when something like this happens to me, i don't have the right reaction at the moment, and the reason i feel so bad afterwards is not because of what they said, it's because i lost the chance to say all the nasty things i wanted to say.

  6. that happens to me, too. i always think of the nest things to say after the fact. it's the worst.