Monday, March 25, 2013

carelessly growing up and growing old

i'm sitting here in teenage mutant ninja turtle pajama pants and a ben 10 t-shirt eating tater tots and thinking about growing up. it seems a little ironic to me. but there are days when i think to myself, "have i grown up?" sometimes, the answer is a simple no and a belief that i will never grow up, not really. i will hold on to the best parts of childishness forever. but then, isn't being able to distinguish between the best and worst parts of being a child a sign of growing up? other times, the answer is a resounding yes. i am too old and have been through too much to pretend that i haven't grown up.

what exactly makes someone a "grown up" though? is it reaching a specific age? is it checking off enough of life's milestones? because i may have passed the age of childhood, but i still have no "real job." i still sit at home in my pajamas reading young adult fiction and watching nickelodeon and abc family. i still eat peeps for breakfast and sneak spoons of frosting when i'm home alone. that can't be very grown up of me.

what is the point of growing up, anyway? i already think of myself as a pretty responsible person (with a huge procrastination problem) whether i'm grown up or not. maybe you grow up when you decide to just be you and do your own thing, but if that was the case then i'm afraid a lot of the grown ups i know are not really grown ups at all. a lot of days, i'm perfectly content with hiding in fictional words with my fictional friends and being a child forever, but sometimes i wonder if maybe i should try this adulthood stuff out.

and these are the things i think about when i should be working on a project.

*We Intertwined - The Hush Sound


  1. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 27, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    seriously it kinda makes me wonder how mommy and daddy did it?! I mean i do not feel like a grown up at am i responsible for two other lives when i'm still not sure i have my life together. :/

    1. right? i don't know how i'll ever have kids. especially since i'm so used to having kids around and taking care of them. that might sound contradicting, but it's like i can already do the kid thing without doing the grown up thing. can? i already have. and so having kids, that huge grown up creating milestone, will be completely pointless for me.