Sunday, December 7, 2014

i finally found what i've been looking for

[one] i'm at that point in pregnancy where it's close enough for the excitement to start surging and yet far enough away that the fears can't really gain much footing. it's a good place to be, but it means that most of the conversations i have with people are ingeniously turned into baby talks. i really have very little else on my brain. this is basically my thought process while i am having a conversation these days: yes, yes, something about work... oooh you know what would be good right now? a cheeseburger... with fries and a chocolate milkshake... mmm... actually no no no cheese enchiladas! yes!... hmm maybe we could stop by rio grande on our way home from dinner to pick up some cheese enchiladas... oh wait someone is talking to you, you idiot... what are they saying?... uhhh... something about work i think... wait, did they finish with work? are they even still talking? you know what is also work? babies... bring up the baby and let's talk about him instead. (exaggeration of course.)

[two] anyway, in case i come back to read this years from now, let me remind my future self of the human-shaped idiocy that is me every morning (and three times a night) that comes along with this excitement and fatty selfishness. i am the kind of person that pulls myself up into a sitting position using my stomach muscles (pretty much the only thing they can do) instead of pushing  myself up from laying down with my arms. which is fine when you don't have a kid hanging out inside of you and messing around with your muscles and organs for fun. but when you do, it leads to body protests, usually in the form of a really bad cramp. like, a really bad one. when i try to pull myself into a sitting position to get out of bed. every. single. morning.

you would think i'd learn, but you're better off thinking of cheese enchiladas to be honest. yum. but seriously every morning, when my bladder finally wins out over my reluctance to get out bed, starts like this:

  1. okay fine, i'll get out of bed.
  2. ouchhh. ow ow ow ow ow
  3. *collapses back onto bed and clutches stomach.* 
  4. god, you're pregnant, you idiot. how did you forget that again?
  5. *pushes myself up with arms and gets out of bed*
[three] do you remember years ago when  i was obsessed with candy cane oreos? well, every winter since then i have looked for them and found nothing. there are winter oreos that have red frosting that i am always tempted to buy in case they are mint, but they existed with the candy cane oreos and why would you have two mint oreos out at the same time? i don't want to buy them and be disappointed with a family pack of normal oreos with red frosting. but no candy canes. until now. sort of. i found a box of mini candy cane oreos in walmart, and despite the fact that them being mini makes me irrationally angry, they are still delicious and amazing and one of the greatest thing to happen to me this week. (and this was a pretty awesome week to be clear.) (full disclaimer: for some reason, i only remember to look for oreos at walmart. probably because they have an entire aisle dedicated pretty much entirely to oreos of different flavors. so for all i know, grocery stores have continued to sell the candy cane oreos for the past three years and i have just been missing out.)

*What I've Been Looking For - High School Musical

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