Wednesday, September 5, 2012

i'm stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake

i have eaten so many brownies today. ninety four point six percent of what i've eaten today has been brownies. i put peanut butter on the last one i ate so that makes it healthy though, right? also, i think i should mention that though the batter was so overwhelmingly coffee tasting to the point that i was seriously worrying that you wouldn't be able to taste the double chocolateyness of the brownies, none of that flavor translated over to the cooked brownies. sad, i know. but still, i ate a lot of brownies today.

i also have been writing a lot of bad writing lately. and i know that sometimes you have to get through a lot of bad writing before you get to the good stuff again. and i know that sometimes writer's block happens and sometimes writing just really, really sucks. but by lately i mean all summer and maybe even before that, and though i never had much faith in my writing because, according to grandma, i am my mother's daughter, i really wish i could go back to that point where i would sometimes like things that came out of my brain. because now i like pretty much nothing. i read something once that said i think i lost what i never thought i had before. something about this moment reminds me of that. i recently wrote a poem that talked about burning in hell being better than purgatory? yeah.

also, we got our new mattress today. apparently it's a shakespeare edition. whatever that means. i'm hoping that it means that it will recite sonnets and write plays. maybe all my dreams will be in iambic pentameter. that might be cool. maybe it will help cure me of my sucky writing. though i think the main problem with my writing is that i have no experience, no emotions, no life, and my imagination is dwindling. maybe i should have gotten one of those instead of a mattress.

*Be My Escape - Relient K

1 comment:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusSeptember 6, 2012 at 1:00 AM

    congrats on the new mattress!!! thats awesome :D