Friday, October 19, 2012

i am flattered by your fascination with me

so of course my complete disenchantment with my life and my total disregard for school has led to the fact that i have a ten page paper due today that i just found out about yesterday (and that was just by lucky chance). i mean, i've recycled one of my old papers for it so i didn't actually have the jolt of productivity i thought i was going to have, but i recycled one of my old papers for the first paper in this class, too. so now i feel like a worthless student. probably because i am. instead of productive i feel guilty.

in other news, i've been getting a lot of those spam comments that try to flatter you into going to their website and buying furniture? or something? i dunno since i've never actually followed the links, but they're pretty ridiculous. for example, on a previous post where i mentioned a few of my guilty pleasures, a cigarette website posted this:
What i don't understood is in fact how you are not actually a lot more smartly-appreciated than you may be now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably in relation to this matter, produced me individually consider it from so many numerous angles. Its like men and women are not interested unless it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your individual stuffs great. At all times deal with it up! 
now let's ignore the typos and grammar mistakes and the fact that he referred to lady gaga as "woman gaga" for a moment. not to toot my own horn or anything, but there a few posts that i have written that i think should be "more smartly-appreciated" than one where i admit to eating a bag of nutritionless candy in one sitting. i mean, come on cigarette people. if you're going to try and flatter me into buying something that will probably kill me, at least make it look like you put some thought into it.

a wicker furniture company thanked me for my post on how annoying it is when people replace letters of bad words with punctuation. he's "not sure where [i] got my information," but it will apparently "help him on his mission." on my infomercial post about post-grad school, a weight loss food site told me that it was "amazing" and "the clearness is excellent." it also told me that i seem like "an expert on this subject" which made me laugh, though i'm sure that was just coincidence.

i went years and years without getting a single spam post on my blog (unless you count anonymous commenters that enjoy insulting me and my family which, oddly enough, i don't). and now i'm getting them almost daily. since they are automatically shipped off to the spam folder, i often don't read them until, like now, i have a moment where i wonder if i'm the only person left in blogland. and though some of them can be slightly amusing, i would much rather go back to the days when actual people commented on what i actually posted instead of spam bots throwing up a jumble of misworded phrases.

*Uninvited - Alanis Morissette


  1. anonymous hippopotamusOctober 20, 2012 at 2:34 AM

    thanks a lot....i dont count as people commenting on your blog! hmmph! :P

    im soooo GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! frustrated and annoyed. i have lots of laundry to do...omar somehow broke the green motorcycle toy they have, i can't find a way to find the instruction manual, he's screaming, gave him his fire truck to ride instead, drove it off the pavement into the dirt that is our "garden" of dying trees. i want to punch a wall.

  2. you are literally the only person that still reads this i think. i mean, even mommy and zeyad stopped. which is sad.

    and ahhh the luxury of a childless, jobless life.