Friday, November 9, 2012

i like to say that i hate school now, and while i really am sick of it and in desperate need of a break, i'm still the same nerdy third grader that i've always been. i still get that ridiculous smiley feeling inside when I get a paper back with comments pointing out my best points or when a professor ends an email saying that he was impressed with my midterm score. the "good work"s and the "great job"s from teachers whose opinions i care about never seem to get old, no matter how many times i say they do. getting an A+ from a professor that did not believe in pluses or minuses still makes me smile. and when i confront this slightly shameful part of me, it's hard to think that i could drop out of school altogether. that i could possibly give up these fleeting moments of inner yays seems impossible. but then i think of the professors that do not want to be on my committee and the ones who think i should drop out and the work that i can't and don't want to do but still have to, and i have to wonder if a "good job" is really worth the effort. the two sides are still battling it out. and every time i seem to come to a conclusion i change my mind.

my novel writing had been going a bit slow, and by that i mean i didn't even open the file for a few days. but after writing like crazy yesterday and six thousand words and a sore wrist later, i am only four thousand words behind schedule instead of ten. i think in the editing i'll have to move a few things up in the story so that it doesn't seem like its floundering so much at the beginning, but at least it's getting down on paper. yesterday i went to look at my nanovel from last year which i haven't touched since i typed the last word, and i couldn't find it. there was a copy with the first fifteen thousand words saved, but the whole novel? nowhere. i am holding off on the crying until i search all my hard drives and thumb drives and other computers, but it doesn't look good. i have no idea what could have happened to it.

anyway, i am off to write another four thousand words before class (hopefully) so that i can resume the knitting i've been putting off as well tonight. to all of you who are participating in nano and also those of you who aren't, i encourage you all to write. something. anything. it's fun, i swear. 


  1. anonymous hippopotamusNovember 11, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    woo hoo look at your word count!

    and send me the little bit you do have of your book. please! i'm so bored here!!

  2. right? i mean, i didn't write anything today and most of it will need to be edited out, but i'm just happy that i'm managing to stay afloat. there was a point when i was seriously thinking about just dropping out this year because it looked like i would have no time to write.

    and i will look at my hard drives tomorrow morning (i'm exhausted and don't feel like getting them) and if i still can't find it then i will send you what i have.