Tuesday, December 25, 2012

have yourself a merry little christmas

i spent a good part of yesterday post-it tabbing/outlining three seven hundred page computer text books so that they'll be easier to search through in an open book exam. that's over two thousand pages of tools and networks and incident response and god knows what else (my brain stopped registering what i was skimming about two thirds into the second book as a way to keep sane). and now i still have to go back and study all of that material, plus two other classes worth of stuff. as i sit here with a pile of printed notes and text books taunting me, i can't help but wonder how i - the girl who firmly believed for twenty-two years that vacations and school just do not mix. ever. when all the cool kids were taking summer classes in college, i was letting my brain slowly rot with books and movies and pool and family gossip - found myself voluntarily spending the first three weeks of my winter vacation studying of all things. because in spite of everything, this is all completely voluntary. i can complain about the format of the program and the reasons i applied to it in the first place, but at the end of the day i made a choice to start it and to continue with it. so this torture i am suffering right now? completely self-inflicted. (and why is it that self-inflicted pain is frowned upon unless there is a "good reason" for it? talk about ends justifying the means mentality.)

and how is it already christmas? i haven't had a chance to listen to any christmas music this month (i think i've heard maybe three songs since thanksgiving). i haven't gone on a drive through the neighborhoods to look at christmas lights. i didn't get any holiday themed drinks from starbucks. i haven't seen a single christmas movie. not one. not even harry potter when abc family throws it into their christmas movie line-up. despite not celebrating the holiday, christmas season is one of my most favorite times of the year, and i completely missed it this year. i don't even know what i was doing as it passed by completely unnoticed by me. writing papers? preparing presentations? watching old tv shows on dvd? what kind of excuses are those? pathetic ones.

if you're celebrating anything today, then i hope you have a wonderful day. if you're not celebrating anything today, then i hope you have a wonderful day, too.

*Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland

3 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusDecember 26, 2012 at 6:02 AM

    :( i missss christmas lights! :( :( and the new lady that just moved here told me her christmas tree that she shipped with her belongings was confiscated. and apparently the customs person told them when they called that they don't celebrate christmas in saudi arabia...soooo im thinking maybe the lights you sent me also got confiscated. so stupid! i'm really pissed!

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  2. grr now i'm annoyed. we put if there's a problem to send them back to us and then i could have returned them and gotten my overcharged money back. stupid people. i told you that was gonna happen.

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  3. anonymous hipparchusDecember 26, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    :' ( I'm so sad....and don't worry, I will pay you back. write a list or keep the receipts or both...so neither of us forget.

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