Wednesday, May 29, 2013

only when i stop to think about it, i hate everything about you

i have a love-hate relationship with contacts. except that there is very little love and a whole lot of hate. so, really, i guess you could say that i hate contacts. i really, really, really hate contacts. have you ever had to wear a contact with a tear in it for hours because you are at school and are blind without it and have no other choice? no? well let me just tell you that it is the most irritating thing ever. ev-er. that little kid who is constantly coughing in the airplane seat behind you and has taken it upon himself to break the world record for the number of times one can kick the seat in front of him on a thirteen hour flight? he doesn't even come close. contacts also have this thing they like to do where they will dry out exactly six seconds after you put them in your eye. they think it's funny, but it's not. not at all. and then sometimes, they like to mess with your head. you'll look at the contact sitting there on the tip of your finger and it will be perfectly fine, but somehow on the short trip from fingertip to eyeball, it flips inside out and throws on an eyelash coat. and then you're sitting there blinking like crazy trying to figure out what went wrong. sometimes it burns. and then there are the times where it decides to fold in half while it is still in your effing eye and you're not exactly sure what's happened, but one second you can see and then suddenly you can't. and it just sits there tucked away under your eyelid laughing at you. let's not even get into the times it just jumps out of your eye for no good reason. they really are obnoxious.

oh, and they also give me killer headaches. the jerks. and yes, i do realize the sheer amazingness that comes from the ability to correct my horrific eyesight with a tiny piece of plastic. no, that does not make me less inclined to hate them. 

"quit complaining and just stop wearing them," you may say. if only it were that simple. see, without contacts, i have two choices: glasses or surgery. glasses are my corrective measure of choice in the house, but unless it is one of those very rare days where both the weather and my hair are exactly perfect, i can tolerate them even less than contacts outside. aside from rain on glasses lenses and them steaming up so fast after stepping out of an air conditioned car into the heat that you are pretty much blind, they are just so annoying to wear when you're also covering your hair. cold weather leads to staticky hair and staticky scarves that are like bratty little kids who will not just sit next to each other in the car and shut up already. the hair is constantly trying to escape and the scarf is doing some weird stuff, and the glasses just make fixing everything every three seconds that much worse. (similar situations arise from different weather conditions.) now, even if i wasn't pretty terrified of eye correcting surgery, my eye doctor has told me on several occasions that, because of my terrible eyesight and its insistence on getting regularly worse, i'll probably still end up wearing glasses or contacts after any laser fixing magic. and i am not going to go through everything just so i can be in the exact same situation i am in right now, thank you very much. 

so i stick with the contacts, and hate them desperately. i really do hate them. so much. 

*I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

6 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusMay 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    his post made me laugh. on a serious note...get the daily ones. they make a huge difference! seriously huge difference. they don't dry out as fast because its a new pair everyday. and they are less irritating on the eye too...since you don't have any build up of whatever is in your eye on them.

    still annoying at times but not as annoying as the monthly ones. like you still can't wear them until midnight and expect them to still feel comfortable, but you can wear them from 5 am until 10 pm and feel perfectly fine.

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    1. i'm planning on trying the dailies this next time around. last year i switched to the two weeks instead of the monthly, but they still suck. it's also the fact that i'm staring at a screen all day, but i can't really do much about that either.

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    2. anonymous hippopotamusJune 1, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      hmmm..:/ well hopefully the dailies will work better for you. ANNND you don't have to worry about soaking them....EVER!

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  2. oh, that's sad that you can't get the corrective surgery perfect. it changed my life.

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    1. yeah according to the eye doctor most people's eyes stop getting worse around the time they are 21 so they can get the surgery and be done with it around that time. unfortunately for me, my eyes have yet to bottom out, and if i get it before they do they'll just continue to get worse and i'll have to get glasses again, though with a much smaller prescription.

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