Friday, August 16, 2013

oh don't you put me on the back burner

so i was watching one of those typical action-y movies where your typical hero figure does something stupid that's shown as heroic and one of his loved ones that did nothing but know slash love slash share blood with the hero figure gets captured as some form of incentive to draw the hero to the bad side. and when the hero figure gets wind of this and gets his phone call from said loved one, the loved one goes and says something typically idiotic along the lines of "don't come and save me. i'm not worth it. you're more useful or important or heroic. go save the world and let me die."

i would like to take a moment to formally state to any one that i know slash love slash share blood with that, in the case that i am captured by the bad side because of you, you better come save me. screw the world, i am more important. i don't care if you die in the process (unless it is before i am rescued in which case you are a really bad hero and you should probably get out of that line of work right now before anything happens that you can't undo, like me being captured by torturers), because you got us into this mess in the first place. and i don't mean save me in the process of saving the world. no. saving me should be your only objective. there should be no multitasking in a mission as important as my rescue. if you get me kidnapped, you drop everything and get me unkidnapped immediately.

unless of course the dryer is running, then you take the time to stop it before you come get me. i would like to return home to an actual home and not a pile of ashes.

(i'm also going to mention here that i have a tendency of falling for the bad guys, and there is a chance that real-life bad guys are just as awesome as fictional ones. so, if you come rescue me and i give you the secret signal for you-took-too-long-and-now-i-have-fallen-in-love-with-the-villain, you should abort the mission and just go away. maybe leave us some cheeseburgers and chocolate milkshakes. oh, and make sure you don't forget to turn back on the dryer when you get home because wet clothes get musty and gross.)

*All These Things That I've Done - The Killers

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