Tuesday, August 6, 2013

there's a moment in time, and it's stuck in my mind, way back when we were just kids.

draft last saved: june third, two thousand and thirteen, eight:nineteen a.m.

i stared at the picture of the man, trying to find the face of the little boy that i used to know inside of him, trying to look at it objectively. i supposed people might find him handsome. people might look at his muscled arms and squared jaw and say that he was just the right amount of conventional hot. his hair was long now and the goatee that sat on his chin was new, and i supposed they gave him just enough distance from conventional to be exciting. to be adventurous. to be someone you could fall in love with. but me? i could only see the anger in his jaw, the perverted leer in his eyes. i tried to remind myself that they weren't his, at least i hoped they weren't. i hoped he hadn't inherited the meanness with the bone structure. i hoped he hadn't adopted the manners with the looks.

i looked at the man and tried to find the little boy i used to know inside of him. the boy that would hide with me in the closet under the stairs, holding our breaths so his father, thundering through the house, wouldn't find us. his father, that would beat the little boy. his father, that would send the little boy out of the room and do things to me that left me with a fear and shattered trust that i still had not gotten over.

i looked at the man and tried to find the little boy but saw only his father instead.

i closed my eyes and turned away.

***

this was supposed to be part of something longer that i never got around to. it could also use some editing. but oh well.

*Kristy, Are You Doing Okay - The Offspring

4 comments:

  1. this is terrifying. i hope its not real life.

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    1. no, not real life. at least not completely. i mean i did see a picture of someone i hadn't seen in a long time, and he did remind me way more of his father than the boy i used to know, but that's the extent of the real lifeness. the rest is purely fictional. but i'm (not so) secretly glad that it terrified you because that means i wrote it right.

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  2. anonymous hippopotamusAugust 10, 2013 at 7:42 AM

    love it!

    i dont think its real..unless you're hiding a secret! :O

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    Replies
    1. thank you :). and i'm hiding lots of secrets. this just doesn't happen to be one of them.

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