i feel like such an insomniac

you know those nights when you get your second wind and the tiredness that has been your shadow all day suddenly decides that you're a hopeless case and runs away, leaving you completely awake at one in the morning? and i mean, this is fine when you get home at almost twelve and stay up to sit with your cousin for a bit. it is also fine when it is almost two and your very verbose sister realizes she has a speech due tomorrow and you help her edit it down to forty five seconds max. but it is not fine when you look at the clock and realize that you are waking up at seven thirty and really should be heading off to bed. it is not fine when, instead of drowsy dreams, your mind fills up with thoughts like "i'm going to wake up in four and a half hours... four... three and a half..." it is not fine when your hand suddenly has an obsession with checking your phone for the time (because your clock is halfway across the room to prevent you from over-snoozing and you are blind as a bat without your glasses and the clock's numbers turn into a glowing red blur) which only fuels your mind's obsession for calculating how many hours you'd get to sleep if you could only nod off already.

when you actually fall asleep eventually and wake up however many hours later feeling more rested than you have since you gave up your comfortable mattress in the name of hospitability in exchange for an evil pile of springs intent on killing you... that is awesome.

when you are just getting comfortable with your computer and the lady across the street starts to pull out of her driveway and you realize you didnt miss her which you are ecstatic for because watching her struggle to pull out is a hilarious highlight of your day... that is awesome. (i'm not joking when i say this. i should tape her one time for you people. there is something wrong with her that makes her unable to just pull straight back out of her driveway without majorly complicating matters.)

my sister, cousin, and i are starting a diet. i am not a diet person... in any sense of the word. my sister is a drill sergeant when it comes to things like this (usually not with me but since we're doing this for my cousin i'm thinking i wont like her very much for the next few weeks). we're not technically starting until thursday, but i miss my food already.

*Fireflies - Owl City

i'll tell you what you wanna know

here are last week's formspring answers (except for one that i still need to answer). if you wanna say something yourself, see who asked what, or check when each thing was answered (if you're weird or something), then click on that link up there.

Who would win in a fight: pirates or ninjas?
probably ninjas, but i'd be on the pirates' side.

If you could live in a memory, which would it be?
that is an impossible question to answer. can't i have like a memory time machine and just go memory hopping?

If you could choose, how would you die?
happy.

If you had to throw away either your TV or your computer, which would you choose?
tv. you can watch everything online now anyway.

Who was your first crush?
real person crush? Blake or Blair or something from my second/third grade combo class. i was in second, he was in third. all i really remember about him now is that he had brown hair and liked amanda white (another third grader). needless to say, i was not amanda's biggest fan.

my first celebrity/fictional character crush was aladdin.

If you could hang out in someone's head, who would it be?
hmm... i cant choose one person because my brain lacks decision making capabilities, but maybe one of my favorite authors? they'd have interesting heads. or someone who was absolutely sure - of what they were doing, who they were, or whatever. just to, you know, see what it feels like.

What's your favorite quote from a person you know?
i just know there are so many that i cant even think of one. people i know say pretty profound things.

Can you make up a three line short story, right now?
As the dust settled, dulling the brilliant scarlet spreading like a halo around his head, he finally accepted what he had known all along. Every doubt, every moment of insecurity that he ignored had been trying to tell him this very thing. Love, trust, and happiness that are the basis of every fairy tale translate into nothing more than cruel means of torture, loneliness, and painful deaths in reality.

guess i'm not in the most optimistic mood today.

What is your favorite childhood bedtime story?
i dunno i remember my mom would whisper short stories into our ears at night that would tickle. if those dont count then good night moon.

what do you remember the most from highschool?
the red and purple binders/the story, ceramics class, playing dots in the back of math class, APs, threats to kick everyone out of nhs for plagiarism, the principal saying she wished we were never born at our tea party to our parents... i remember almost everything. i loved high school.

where would you wish to travel right now?
i want to backpack across europe.

cookie dough or cookies?
both. cookie dough if i had to choose.

as a kid, shoelaces or velcro?
velcro

what kind of shampoo do you use?
my sister and i cannot commit to a shampoo. at the moment, we're using garnier fructis.

would you rather eat eye crust or toe jam?
gross. is neither not an option??
if i had to choose i guess... um... eye crust

*Daddy's Eyes - The Killers

and i just can't get you off my mind

i have so many fragmented thoughts jotted down in notepad files and captured in post drafts just waiting for me to sit down and untangle them. to make sense of them and write them each into their own post. but not today.

today, i will let you all in on an annoying habit my mind cant seem to break when it comes to music. it doesnt happen all the time, or even often, but when it does it kills me. i'll be obsessed with a song, listen to it on repeat for hours, days, and weeks. my brain will play this song over in my mind every chance it gets and i will find my lips singing it if i dont make an effort to stop them. then, another part of my brain will decide that it wants to listen to this other song that it used to listen to all the time, but doesnt now because apparently only one song is worth listening to. for simplicity's sake, let's call the new obsession song1 and the old one song2. so while listening to song1, half of my brain will be too busy thinking about song2 to let me fully enjoy it. i'll switch to song2, but i cant appreciate that because my brain is still too busy thinking that song1 is the only song in the world anyone should bother listening to. so until one half of my brain decides to stop being stubborn and let the other half's song be played, i cant truly listen to either.

my brain is doing this now, and i want it to stop, especially since i dont get much chance to listen to my music right now. whenever i put on an amazing song from my collection, i am told to change it to arabic music by my cousin and sister.

*Can't Get You Off My Mind - Lenny Kravitz

dear studio audience, i've an announcement to make

my cousin is visiting from saudi arabia... she arrived sunday. this is her first time out of the country in a very, very long time. this means that a lot (read:all) of the time i used to spend online is now spent talking/watching my movies/otherwise amusing said cousin while we are all stuck in the house under piles of snow. because of this, i am behind on everything internet related. blogs are going unread and unposted. facebook requests and messages are going unanswered. my formspring is filling up with questions unnoticed. she's staying for three months, and i doubt ill get much more internet time than i do now. plus, i have school to think about and crazy projects i cant even let into my brain right now because i have no idea where to start with them. anyway, point is that in the brief moments when i sneak internet time, i probably won't have much time to write blogs. we'll see what happens when everything settles down here more and schools start back up again, but for now, my blog posts will most likely be short, pointless, and scarce. comments on your blogs will probably be late if they come at all as will responses to your comments on mine, and formspring answers will be given whenever i get around to it.

there was more i wanted to write, but i cant remember it for the life of me so it will have to go unsaid. maybe by the time i get back to writing blogs for real i'll have a bunch of stored up inspiration and creativity to let out. here's to hoping.

*The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic! at the Disco

i've got nothing to hide

so here are the answers to this week's formspring questions/comments/suggestions/whatever. ask/tell me anything by writing it into that box over there <-- or going to this link.

How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
sarcastic, idealistic, cynical

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?
ocean

Would you rather date a lot of different people, or be in a committed relationship?umm committed relationship, but that can change with my mood.

What one thing are you exceptionally good at?
eh i dunno...

What's your favorite genre of music?
rock

How many languages do you speak?
one and three quarters

Where you a victim of the whole Blues Clues gender debacle or did YOU KNOW?
i had no idea what he really was, but to my child's mind blue was most definitely a boy. boy was my mind's default gender.

Do you like Oreos?
doesnt everyone??

Where do you stand on Wookies?
i havent watched star wars (sad, i know) but im thinking they'd shed a lot, and i'm not a big fan of loose hair.

you seriously think of yourself as an idealist?

a very cynical idealist.

Up or down?

ahh... i can't decide :S

If you were a lion, what would your name be?

humphrey... and i have NO idea why. it just popped into my head when i read the question.

Do you think uncle jesse from full house is hot?

sure

if you had the option to change your family, would you?

tempting lol... but nope.

regarding toilet paper, over or under?

over

are you jealous of hamza because he's a million times better looking that you? signed anonymous :P

yes that kills me every day. *rolls eyes*

If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?

my bookcase (it counts), my computers, and my ipod

If you were to steal an article of clothing from any person in the world, what would it be?

belle's golden dress from beauty and the beast... does that even count?

Have you ever high fived a stranger?

i'm not sure... maybe? probably?

What do you enjoy reading?

anything and everything.generally fiction more than non though.

Long nails or short nails?

short but i tend to get lazy and let them grow.

What was your biggest fear as a child?

the dark

What's your favorite thing about yourself?

my sarcasm... it amuses me.

*Ask Me Anything - The Strokes

it was just my imagination running away with me

this is what happens when there's nothing good on tv and i'm bored of the internet:

there is this huge truck (like a big moving truck or something) struggling in the snow outside our house. it has been trying to get out for at least an hour an a half, and that's only counting from when they turned the corner to our street to get to the mainish street to get to the main street. so of course i assume that they're up to no good, because i mean, really, when the news people say this could be the biggest virginian blizzard for a hundred years who thinks "let's get out the moving truck?" so they are obviously robbers of some sort. and then, when i was watching them struggling in the cold from the warmth of my bed right they did that thing from the movies. you know when the person is standing across the street and then a truck/bus/whatever passes and suddenly the person is gone? yeah that's what happened. they had backed up and shoveled ahead enough that they kinda were able to drive without spinning tires for a bit and they passed my house and the guy disappeared! and there were no footprints where he was standing! (anisah claims i just couldnt see them because of the snow and dark and all. i know better.) so basically, there are some other worldly demon robbers outside in the snow trying to get their moving truck to work.

**Update:** two hours after they started and they have just made it to the mainish street. now a final stretch and they'll be on the main and hopefully shoveled street to go back to their world.

**Update 2:** three and a half hours later and they are right at the edge of the main street. i'm telling you, these demon robbers have patience. i wouldve given up and slept in the truck hours ago.

*Just My Imagination - The Temptations

i've got a whole lot of nothing going on

i really have nothing to write about. at all. i have three classes this semester which may lead you to think that i have lots and lots of free time. because, you know, that's the logical conclusion to come to. logic, however, has an allergic reaction to my family and tends to avoid us. my "free" time was spoken for before i had a chance to even introduce myself. in these moments which i should be playing the role of studious student and lazy bum, i play the roles of chauffeur, cleaner, babysitter, computer tech, and tutor. dont get me wrong, i dont mind that much (well, i'm not too keen on cleaning the house) but then, in the late hours of the night when i should be doing, well nothing, i am stuck teaching myself the differences in packet sniffers and how to interpret all of them. fun stuff.

point is, this doesnt leave much time to come up with inspired blog post ideas or to write many uninspired ones.

though my classes are nothing to get excited about, one of my professors makes me smile. he teaches security auditing which could very well be a tortuously boring subject (and is at times). but my professor likes to make harry potter references... and that always grabs my attention. he has made references to hogwarts, how easy things would be if we had wands, sirius black, and hagrid to name a few. i would like him a lot more though if he didnt spend a good one third of his class with his finger very unsubtly in his nose. it's like he's digging for gold in there.

aside from that, my life at the moment is very unblogworthy. sad, i know.

*Nothing Going On - Clawfinger

this is the beginning of the end

the season premiere of LOST just finished. i don't really have much to say about it, because i'm still a little confused/shocked and dont wanna ruin it for anyone who actually watches the show and hasnt seen it yet. but i felt i should commemorate this moment by putting it here in this blog where it will stay forever. i was so beyond excited for this season to start, even though i also dont want the show to end. LOST is one of the very few shows i actually watch that is not a rerun (i live off of friends, family guy, bernie mac, george lopez, and the nanny for televised entertainment.) and the last season has officially started. this is the beginning of the end people. *cue dramatic LOST music*

*The Beginning of the End - Nine Inch Nails

if you look over to my sidebar (<-- that one) you'll notice that in a fit of boredom last night i created a formspring. like the thing says, ask me anything and it's completely anonymous (as long as you choose that option). have a question?? a comment?? a suggestion?? want me to write/stop writing about something?? have some time to kill??

please fuel my procrastination.

formspring.me/skabli

**Update: i think i'll post the answers to new formspring questions on my blog at the end of every week, but you can read what i say as i answer at that link up there.**

i wanna go home... let me go home

class technically finished at 8:23. the last slide was explained, questions were answered, and i was ready to click off my pen and close my notebook. but then some idiot in the front row (i think it's only fair to point out that we all sit in the front row as a class rule, so he may not be a usual front row sitter) decides to ask about the project. this somehow leads into a ramble about second life (actually kinda interesting, but i wont get into it now) that ends at 9:08. we are then dismissed. that is exactly eight minutes after the shuttle has left. which means i get to sit here and wait until ten twenty, which i normally wouldnt mind except that i really wanna go home today.

i was so not in the mood for class today. i woke up and literally thought "ew. i dont wanna go to class." that was a whole twelve hours before class time. then, after very narrowly missing the shuttle here because of traffic (i pulled into a parking spot at 5:03. the shuttle leaves 5:05. there was some running involved.) i was in even less of a mood. on the shuttle, with the sky slowly darkening, my ipod playing only the good songs, and the dude across the aisle doing a very convincing chainsaw imitation, my brain started to completely shut down.

and this class is probably the hardest one i'm taking this semester (even though it has the smallest number) and the one i should focus in the most. it is, by far, the one my brain refuses to pay attention in. and if you could only see me in my other classes, you'd realize that that's really saying something. i think it might be because i dont like the professor. i tried to, but i just cant like him. i cant.

today, i liked him a little less than usual. while discussing unicode and ascii, he says something along the lines of "you'll know it's in unicode if your start button is in arabic because you wont understand it." (ascii is only english.) then he looks at me and says, "i guess it's a problem though if you understand both languages." umm... last time i checked, despite the fact that i was able to read both languages, i was still able to distinguish the two. so if i saw arabic, it would be just like anyone else seeing arabic except that i would know what it said.

then, whenever he mentioned terrorist groups or organizations, he would look at me. unconsciously i think, but that makes it worse. the fact that his mind turns to the arab in the class at the briefest mention of terrorist is kinda sorta really annoying.

the class could be really interesting so i'm going to force myself to learn from it, even if the fbi dude teaching it grates on my nerves.

*Sloop John B - The Beach Boys