i feel like such an insomniac

you know those nights when you get your second wind and the tiredness that has been your shadow all day suddenly decides that you're a hopeless case and runs away, leaving you completely awake at one in the morning? and i mean, this is fine when you get home at almost twelve and stay up to sit with your cousin for a bit. it is also fine when it is almost two and your very verbose sister realizes she has a speech due tomorrow and you help her edit it down to forty five seconds max. but it is not fine when you look at the clock and realize that you are waking up at seven thirty and really should be heading off to bed. it is not fine when, instead of drowsy dreams, your mind fills up with thoughts like "i'm going to wake up in four and a half hours... four... three and a half..." it is not fine when your hand suddenly has an obsession with checking your phone for the time (because your clock is halfway across the room to prevent you from over-snoozing and you are blind as a bat without your glasses and the clock's numbers turn into a glowing red blur) which only fuels your mind's obsession for calculating how many hours you'd get to sleep if you could only nod off already.

when you actually fall asleep eventually and wake up however many hours later feeling more rested than you have since you gave up your comfortable mattress in the name of hospitability in exchange for an evil pile of springs intent on killing you... that is awesome.

when you are just getting comfortable with your computer and the lady across the street starts to pull out of her driveway and you realize you didnt miss her which you are ecstatic for because watching her struggle to pull out is a hilarious highlight of your day... that is awesome. (i'm not joking when i say this. i should tape her one time for you people. there is something wrong with her that makes her unable to just pull straight back out of her driveway without majorly complicating matters.)

my sister, cousin, and i are starting a diet. i am not a diet person... in any sense of the word. my sister is a drill sergeant when it comes to things like this (usually not with me but since we're doing this for my cousin i'm thinking i wont like her very much for the next few weeks). we're not technically starting until thursday, but i miss my food already.

*Fireflies - Owl City