Saturday, September 3, 2011

and my eyes don't recognize you no more

water and i have just not been on the best terms for the past couple of days. i don't know what it is, but i've been having one embarrassing moment after another when it comes to water these days.

let's start with yesterday. we went out to have dinner at red lobster's after the longest day of waiting around ever. (we were at my parents' house waiting for the tv/internet installation guy. he was supposed to come between eight and twelve. he came at three:thirty and didn't leave until seven:thirty. i finished my book by ten:thirty, played sudoku for hours, did puzzles, played whatever one person board game type things i could find, made a bunch of peanut butter crackers i did not want to eat, and wandered around the house like a lost soul. it was a long day.) anyway, so we're at dinner and i'm just about done with my popcorn shrimp when i realize that i'm really thirsty and the waitress hadn't come back with my refill yet. so i take my fork and go to pick up an ice cube to suck on (when i was little my mom used to yell at me for using my hands.) when, instead of cooperating with me, it flew out of my cup and landed in the little thing of cocktail sauce on my plate.

whatever, i thought, and finally got it in my mouth - cocktail sauce and all. while i was sucking on it, the manager came around asking if everything was alright. i don't know why i felt compelled to answer, but i did. and after i got out my "fine, thanks" the stupid ice cube jumped out of my mouth, that's really the only way to describe it. it jumped out, bounced off the table, and landed on the booth next to me. somewhere after the point where i realized my ice escaped and before i saw it use the table as a diving board, i was simultaneously pulling an ostrich and dying of laughter. it was not my best moment. (it's times like these that make me doubt the fact that i'm actually twenty three and not seven.)

today, i was sitting on the couch drinking a cup of water and awkwardly reading a book while waiting for my nail polish to dry, when i somehow spilled a little water on myself. this caused me to pull the cup away dramatically, consequently splashing myself with a little more water. two seconds after i laugh about this with my husband, i go to take another sip. i spill more water on myself. i splash myself with more water. my face was soaked.

this morning i was filling up the brita filter and moving it back into the refrigerator. on its way over there and into its spot, it decided for some reason to just spill a bunch of water everywhere. i'm still not sure how it did this because it was still full when i put it in the fridge and it was not leaking anywhere. it just wanted to escape.

so, like i said, water and i are just not on the best terms at the moment. i think it might be because i've started drinking ridiculous amounts of water and my body is tired of it and staging a protest. but really, it's like water is now a completely different person. someone i have never really known, and i'm not sure if i would have wanted to.

*For Reasons Unknown - The Killers