Sunday, September 11, 2011

you're constantly surrounded by the swirling stream of what is and what was

i've been having life block (what do you call someone who lives that doesn't sound like a major organ?) lately that has translated in some way to a form of writer's block. you know, when you actually have some things you could write about, but just as you go to transfer them from brain to paper you realize that your brain has turned into a puddle of mush and the thoughts need to be hung up to dry before anything else can be done with them. life at the moment has gone... weird, is the only way i can describe it without writing out encyclopedia-sized posts. it's kind of like that moment in high school when, after using a calculator for years, your teacher gives you a page of math problems and says you have a minute to solve as many as you can... without the calculator. you stare at the numbers on the page, knowing that once upon you could solve them, that you used to race through these pages in less than a minute for that tootsie pop the teacher would give the first one to finish will all correct, but you just can't do it. your mind keeps trying to tell you which buttons on a calculator you would push, and next thing you know you've short-circuited something in your head and your answers are wrong. or it's like sitting in a college classroom and having someone come up to you and say you're no longer her best friend because you took the chair she wanted to sit in, thereby failing the friendship test. you don't know whether to laugh, cry, or pretend you can't hear her as you might have done in fourth grade. you forget how to deal with some things as you distance yourself from them for years. i think i'm forgetting how to live my life.

anyway, i saw this link on the side of a friend's blog, and thought i'd share it. it;s about how muslims should stop apologizing for september eleventh. the dude who wrote it is a comedian so it actually has some funniness in it. it's also pretty short. and september eleventh. so you should read it. if you want.

oh, and because you were probably all wondering, in the pancake war, i am oh for two. though this time they were cooked all the way through, i had forgotten to tell my brother not to stir the batter too much. over-strirred pancake batter makes for tough un-fluffy pancakes. which is what we ate. with chocolate chips in them. they weren't bad, but they couldn't be considered a victory. i will reconquer my ability to make pancakes, though. you can count on it.

school also feels weird because everyone i know has started to work on papers and homework and balancing classes with fun, and i haven't really started anything. but it's not like i'm out of school, i'm just taking a bite sized portion this semester, and it feels weird.

have i went over the number of times i can call something weird in one post yet?

*The Big Picture - Bright Eyes

7 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusSeptember 15, 2011 at 11:59 PM

    eh the link was okay..the comments on the article were a lot more interesting.

    haha you fail at pancakes. i made the most awesome ones ever in number b..

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  2. i do not fail at pancakes. ali overstirred them. i make awesome pancakes.

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  3. Life block has a tendency to overstay its welcome.

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  4. i'm beginning to realize that. ble5.

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  5. It gets to a point where you want to stand up just to knock yourself down and beat yourself into getting back up again. But you don't. Personally, I think I'm just making excuses for myself. But then, I look at the alternative and sit right back down.

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  6. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make any sense.

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  7. i think i get what you mean. whenever you go to try and force your way out of it, you realize how futile it would be because there really doesn't seem to be anything better on the other side, so you just resign yourself to the life block again until the next flash of hope or whatever strikes you.

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