Sunday, September 4, 2011

why keep your feeble hopes alive? what are you proving? you've got the dream but not the drive.

my family is coming back today, and i am excited.

of course, that brought to light the fact that i have been here for over a month and done absolutely nothing with my life. (in two days i will have been married for two months. when did that happen?) i mean, not that i was expecting some big, grand, amazing transformation or anything, but there was a part of me that thought that when my time was more my own, i would learn some discipline and sit down and write. that getting married would be proof enough to myself that i'm old enough to stop being a lazy bum and actually do something that i say i want to do, namely write.

so i have written a few things here and there, some of which i actually liked, but there is no discipline in my writing. sure, i can blog pretty regularly, but i can't seem to channel that dedication anywhere else. for some reason i refuse to take it seriously. i'd probably take it more seriously if it was more promising, and it can't become more promising until i take it seriously, so i will be caught in just another endless cycle. story of my life.

it also reminded me that the gre i signed up to take and was supposed to start studying for is next week. now normally, i would be completely okay with that. but everyone has been telling me such horror stories about this test and how hard it is and how it is nothing like the SAT (which is what i was thinking it would be like) that i am slightly freaked out. and now there's a little over a week to study and i have nothing to study. i tried doing the online practice tests, but whenever i started something would happen to make me need to stop in the middle so i don't even know where i stand. tomorrow is definitely gre study day.

but back to the main point of the post: my family is coming back today, and i am excited. i have missed them more than i thought i would. of course, i'm sure i'll be thinking about how annoying they are an hour or so after the time that they land, but hey, that's family, right?

*Beauty School Dropout - Grease

2 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusSeptember 16, 2011 at 12:01 AM

    because of this post beauty school drop out has been stuck in my head since sept 4th. you suck..i mean its a great song but i dont know the lyrics.. :S

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  2. watch youtube and get the lyrics. i watched the movie the day before i posted this on abcfamily which is why the song was in my head.

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