Sunday, September 25, 2011

i've tried, but i can't try no more

i can't for the life of me write this stupid goals statement for my application. i just can't do it. people assume that applying for your phd is some great decision that took thought and deliberation. um, not for me. people think that after a bachelors and masters degree, you'd be an expert in your field. sorry to disappoint. people expect you to have some work experience to rely on, some real world something to give you that extra whatever it is that makes your opinions valid. for some reason, i don't think blogging really counts as computer work.

so how am i supposed to write seven fifty to a thousand words on my plans, credentials, and reasons for giving another chunk of my life to mason?

i was originally going to recycle the essay for my master's application, but it turns out that it was lost in one of joe's many brainwashings because of his susceptibility to viruses. i was crushed. the only thing i even remember about it was that i mentioned planning to work in saudi arabia/start a forensic office there to stand out from the rest of the applicants. i really don't need a phd to do that, making it useless for this particular statement. and then with the release of windows 8 and all of the changes coming with it (because microsoft seems to think that if they don't change absolutely everything, they'll all die), i'm already starting to feel that everything i'm learning is becoming obsolete before i even get a chance to use it. you can't really sell yourself when you're constantly wondering, "what's the point?" disenchantment does not come off as excitement on the page, surprising as that may sound.

i just want this application to be over.

*On Without You - Backstreet Boys


  1. i feel your pain. i was in the same boat a couple months ago. it gets better, i barely remember the pain of those days now.
    are you applying only to mason? maybe you can come to dc and be with meeee :)

  2. ugh i hope so because part of me is already starting to give up. right now i'm applying only to mason, to save myself the headache of finding a school that both has what i want and is approved by my government so i can stay on the scholarship. but if i don't accepted there for the spring then i'll start applying to other places for the fall. how do you like dc?