Wednesday, May 30, 2012

hypnotized by the words you say

i was reading about different internet k-holes the other day and couldn't help nodding along to most of them with the thought of, "haha i've done that before" going through my head. from youtube to tumblr to hate reading, i'm sure we've all had days when we get lost on the internet and came out several hours later not really sure what had happened. according to mcsweeny's, an internet k-hole can be defined as:
 (n) Impulsive-yet-not-random, thematic internet navigational trajectory that leads a user through various websites or pieces of content that include a variety of media (i.e. text, pictures, animated GIFs and video) in such a manner that when one ‘emerges’ from said tunnel, one is viewing something entirely unrelated to the ‘doorway’ (first piece of content in tunnel). Popular tunnel themes include porn, conspiracy, creepy, Wikipedia, and apocalypse scenario.
and of course by "days" i mean every single day of my life. obviously. for example, yesterday i got online to check my email, download music, and then do some writing. after checking my email, i went and checked the blogs i followed for updates. the i checked facebook and noticed a friend had shared a picture from tumblr. i clicked through to that blog and saw a post from a different tumblr blog i used to read that basically picks apart twilight. while i will still say that i did enjoy twilight, i am not one to pass up on anything combining books with snarkiness and grammar. call me a nerd, but it's just who i am. so anyway, i clicked through to that blog and started reading through the gazillion posts that i had missed since the last time i read it.  halfway through that, i clicked on a link she had posted that basically showed four pages from another tumblr of why robert pattinson is awesome. (most of it was gifs from interviews of him promoting (read:bashing) the twilight saga movies.) from there i found myself watching a video of kristen stewart and a few other actors [trying to] read bits from 50 shades of grey. then i was watching a video of gilbert gottfried reading 50 shades of grey followed by selena gomez acting out 50 shades of blue. and the next thing i knew i was twenty-four pages into a blog basically dedicated to 50 shades of grey hate and wanting to read more, it was time for dinner, and i had done nothing i was supposed to.

beware the internet k-holes. they sneak up on you, suck you in, and only let you out when you don't want to leave it.

*Shiver - Maroon 5


  1. i love them. they remind me of simpsons episodes because they start out one place and end up somewhere completely different, but you learn a lot more facts than if you were specifically looking for one thing.
    It mainly happens to me with wikipedia, I've gone on tangents where I've looked at every first class survivor of the titanic, a list of famously beautiful women and their portraits from the 1800s, etc.

  2. when i read about the wikipedia k-hole i immediately thought of you. i think you're the most wikipediaing person i know. it's an awesome site, though. sometimes i just sit there hitting random article forever. and the comparison to a simpsons episode made me laugh. and the decision to switch to capitals halfway through your comment confused me.