I got off the shuttle this morning and followed the line of people entering one of the only two buildings on this campus. There was a guy a little ahead of me - a typical college student with the hoodie, jeans, and iPod. I didnt give him a second thought. But as he was going through the door, he stopped and glanced back. When he saw me, he came back out and held the door open for me, even though I was still not that close. He waited until I went in and then went in after. I was shocked.
Chivalry is dead. Has been for a while now. These days, I'm impressed when a guy stretches his arm back when he's going through a door to make sure it doesnt slam in my face. And this is only when I'm right behind him. More often than not, I get doors closing in my faces. That's if I don't get practically thrown out of the way as some guy with patience problems pushes past everyone to get through the door first.
I was so shocked at the unexpected behavior of the dude today. You could hear it in my "thanks." Just as you could hear the laughter at my reaction in his "you're welcome." When did this become the rarity? Where did all the "young men" go? Not the "guys" of our generation, but real young gentlemen?
I blame feminism, among other things. Feminists annoy the hell out of me. They are so pushy and obnoxious. Nevermind the fact that they are the most pig-headed people I think I have ever seen. Do I think women should not be allowed in the work force, not be allowed to vote, not be allowed to make her own decisions? Of course not. But feminists have taken it way too far. Some women want to stay home and take care of their kids. There is nothing wrong with that. But feminists come and attack people like that, claiming that they are giving in to the oppression of men. Umm who's taking away their choice now?
Anyways, theyre one of the problems. But definitely not the biggest. The guys themselves are hugely to blame. It's not even about "being nice to girls." It's common courtesy to hold open the door. To not push your way through crowds of people like you're the only one who has someplace to go. To not be sleazy scumbags.
Seriously, most guys these days have no sense of decency. Lines like "hey beautiful" coming from a complete sleazeball will not make me jump at the chance of hooking up with you. Using prayer times to hit on me will not make me think, wow this guy is so smart and religious, maybe his absolute refusal to take a hint is a sign that we are meant together. Stuff like that makes me despise you.
I find experiences of good old-fashioned chivalry like today sad. I think the pathos of these situations is how rare they are, how big of a deal they seem. They're a reminder of how things could be. How they should be. How they're not.
*Where Have All the Flowers Gone - Peter, Paul, and Mary