Wednesday, January 25, 2012

i've been living this lie for way too long

for as long as i can remember, i've been selling myself as "the bridge between the east and west." i am from saudi arabia and america, virtually the polar opposites of the world. i am proof that it is possible to connect them, to bring them together in one place, one idea, one person. at the start of every semester, when we have to introduce ourselves to the class, the interesting fact about me has always been that i am half saudi and half american. (which, incidentally, has always reminded me of that quote from jane eyre: "But I don't mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a different mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it.") anyway, i announce it like it's the coolest thing. like it's something that i myself accomlished. i parade around claiming that i can connect these places that, to an outsider, are so completely unconnectable. because i am the bridge.

in reality, the biggest similarity between the two countries is that i don't really belong to either.

i always find myself a little surprised that no one calls me out on my lie, because i most definitely am not a bridge. i am neither here nor there, not saudi and not american. how can i bridge the two places when i am floating aimlessly somewhere in between them. i'm struggling to make the two halves fit inside of me. how am i supposed to connect them for everyone else?

in every essay about myself that i have written since the tenth grade, whether it be for class or college admissions or whatever, i have been promising people that, if they just give me half a chance, i will connect the world for them. and if i were in charge of reading college admission essays, i'd rather let the girl who writes her essay about her fascination with snooki (i can't decide if it's sad that i had to google her name or if it's sad that i think it's sad that i had to google her name) in, than the girl who insists she's some sort of architectural structure. at least the first is honest.

so this is me, almost a decade late, telling you that there is a west and there is an east, and although they may seem totally different at first, there are more similarities between them than what meets the eye. but i am not a bridge between them and i never will be. just a frequent visitor of both.

on a completely unrelated note, here's a video about "doofy" commercial husbands that i thought funny. actually, the whole "target women" series is worth taking a look at if you have the time.

*Living a Lie - 3 Doors Down

5 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:35 PM

    right? its so depressing and its not like life isnt already hard enough. :( pity party...poooor us! lol

    btw anything from mason?

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  2. anonymous hippopotamusJanuary 26, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! :)

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  3. Yey in comments??? Did you hear from Mason???

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  4. way to ruin my next blog post, anonymous hippopotamus. sheesh.

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