Ali is obsessed with Betty Crocker. Don't ask me why. He wants to marry her...
So anyways, I was looking online for information on this "Betty Crocker" and it turns out that she doesn't exist! I had always thought of Betty being one of those old baking grandmothers who sold her cookies and cakes in a family bakery which eventually went corporate and voila you have the international Betty Crocker baking goods company. But noooo. You know who Betty Crocker really is?? An alter ego for William Crocker, the founder of the Betty Crocker company or something. He chose the name Betty because it sounded "friendly." So Betty Crocker is/was a guy. Ali will be crushed.
*The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most - Dashboard Confessional
that's like telling a kid santa isn't real. devastating. earth flippingly, reality shatteringly devastating. don't tell ali.
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