who can say where the road goes, where the day flows? only time

to some people, life is like one of those old fashioned video games, like original mario or something - you can move forward, but there's is absolutely no going back. there isnt even any standing still, because when you try it, the left side of the screen comes along and scoots you forward inch by inch. and while you're being pushed along on one side pretty much without your consent, you see a huge gaping ditch pop up on the other side of the screen. it's dark and foggy and ginormous and you try to see down to the very bottom because you know it's just a matter of time before you fall into it. but you can't so you just have to hold your breath and wait for the inevitable plummet into the unknown.

to others, life is nothing like that. the screen is pretty much stuck in one place, not pushing you forward, not really caring much if you go back a bit. there are no foggy pits to worry about falling into. it is like a barren desert stretching out as far as the eye can see. everything is exactly the same and going on forever. there arent even any trees or bushes for surprises to lurk behind. the ground is solid and unyielding, and you can't see any way out.

at the moment, my life feels like it has fallen indefinitely into the second category, and i kinda wish there was a daunting pit somewhere on the horizon for me to fall into. but there isnt, and all the jumping around hoping to open one up is completely pointless, despite the fact that i gave up on my diet weeks ago. i feel like i should have done so much more with my life by now. i should have done something. creeping up on twenty two and having no real accomplishments to my name depresses me.

i am waiting for the ground to fall out from under me, for the road to lead me somewhere notable.

oh, and as per request, my nephew is sick. this is me writing about it. now you all feel sorry for him and hope he gets better before his birthday party tomorrow.

*Only Time - Enya