Tuesday, March 22, 2011

i'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind

in this story of my life, i am the protagonist. i am the hero. i am every lesson i've ever learned and the finish line of every race. i am laughs that make stomachs ache, rainbows after storms, and the overwhelming relief of crying out sorrows. i am getting the right answer after trying, trying, trying without giving up. i am on the inside of an inside joke and outside the boundaries of reality. i am sunflowers and daisies and birdsong on a spring breeze. i am the helping hand and the shoulder to lean on. i am cheerleader, coach, team, and water boy. i am the sunrise. i am the sunset. i am the magic that sparks like electricity in the atmosphere.

in this story of my life, i am the antogonist. i am the villain. i am the obstacles to overcome and the tears cried in vain. i am the slump of shoulders in defeat. i am every mistake i've ever made and every regret that fights off sleep. i am droughts and floods and earthquakes. i am the foot subtly stuck out to trip. i am tangled lies and twisted tongues. i am the snake hiding in the grass waiting, waiting, waiting to strike. i am termites feasting on destruction. i am forgetting lines, dates, pants. i am an all-nighter for an assignment due last week. i am the shame in giving up and the weight of the world. i am the ghost. i am the monster. i am the terror that sends chills racing down spines.

in this story of my life, i am the extras. i am watching it all pass from the sidelines. i am the overlooked, the unheard, the never seen. i am the heat waves shimmering above hot asphalt and the balloon riding the wind. i am the space between then and now. i am a tuesday in may. i am a placeholder. i am windblown hair. i am selling hot dogs in the bleachers and shining shoes in the streets. i am mowing lawns, shoveling snow, raking leaves. i am the stand-in just famous enough to be ignored. i am the shadow. i am the reflection. i am the tick, tick, ticking of the clock in the background.

in this story of my life, i am me.

*Boulevard of Broken Songs - Green Day, Oasis, Travis

27 comments:

  1. This is magnificent. I have half a mind to build a time machine, invent a thought extraction device, and comb my hair. And with those, I shall go back in time, steal your thoughts, and write them as my own while kicking ass and most likely writing those down too. The comb is because in this journey of mine through space and time, I'm going to pass by the 50's and pretend to be a greaser and sing with Danny and his buddies.

    I think I'm drifting off topic, whatever, point is- wow.

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  2. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 23, 2011 at 3:04 AM

    i posted this to my facebook profile as a note..its just too awesome!

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  3. Lujain... thank you :). your comments are awesome, by the way. while i was reading it, a commercial was saying how grease and hairspray are gonna be on abc family this sunday. coincidence? oh, and i think i should mention that when you said greaser the first place my mind went to was the outsiders.

    anonymous hippopotamus... *it's. and thanksss. (haha i sound like a snake. waking up too early made that way too funny to me. :/)

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  4. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 23, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    loool i had to reread the comment when I read snakes... but then I found it incredibly funny. could be staying home all day with two kids that made it funny. :D

    i'm watching glee....and its the episodes that are airing in the states.. same day and everything.. eeeee!!! its so awesomeistic.. haha!!

    oh and this was the opening number for tonights episode... thought you'd appreciate it :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB1cx16TEfk

    i found it to be better than the original version.

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  5. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 23, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    oh oh and when i read greaser i also thought of the outsiders.

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  6. lol that song is the happiest song about misery ever written. it's so upbeat and cheerful and then you listen to the lyrics and you're like, "oh, he's sad?! when did that happen?" oh, and i love darren criss.

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  7. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 23, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    i knooooww...darren criss is AMAZING! i ignore everything when i see him sing...haha is that bad to say that? well its the truth...

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  8. no it's not because he's supermegafoxyawesomehot. duh.

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  9. Coincidence? I believe it is yet another one of many supernatural feats of stupendous, I am a super hero, you see.

    Also, Darren Criss is the bee's knees, elbows, and entire face. He's one of the few reasons I still watch Glee. His performances are adorable, and his eyes are gorgeous, almost hypnotizing. I think that's why they cast him, you know, to keep the audience away from the hay, and by hay, I mean no in front of their televisions. I'm confusing myself again. I'll stop.

    Lol, I'm actually watching this episode right now. Rerun. Coincidence?

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  10. Lujain... well that explains a lot.

    i'm ashamed to say that i still haven't watched a single episode of glee. it's a show that i want to start from the beginning and i never seem to have the time to do that. plus, the longer i wait the longer it will take me to catch up. catch 22. i'm thinking maybe i'll do that this summer when my family is in saudi and i'm stuck here alone.

    tooly... i don't know how true that is, but thank you nonetheless.

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  11. Me no likey Glee... one of those teenage fads that serve no better than to annoy the hell out of me. Is one of the worst things I've ever seen - like High School Musical, only it never seems to end

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  12. LOL that last sentence made me laugh. i think you're one of the only people i know that doesn't like glee. probably good, though, so now if i ever watch it my expectations won't be sky high.

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  13. Yeah, at this point, I wouldn't advise you to watch Glee. It has lost its mojo.

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  14. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 25, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    :O hannah and lujain!!!! you are both on my blacklist. Glee is nothing like high school musical...high school musical was HORRIBLE! :( you guys hurt my feelings..lol

    but seriously glee is awesome.

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  15. Meh - and now Glee is gonna be writing their own songs??? This screams even more of High School Musical >< AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

    And my sister watches it every monday night.... It drives me insane

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  16. anonymous hippopotamusMarch 26, 2011 at 4:35 AM

    :'( okay now you're going to make me cry!!!! i agree high school musical was HORRIBLE..but glee cannot be compared to that. I love it! :( :(

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  17. Let me break this down for you, I'm as obsessed with glee as I am my hatred for my life. Seriously, no joke. You see, glee is like my child. Whether it runs off to become a stripper or off to college, I still love the bastard. Not to mention, I'll love the first one most.

    But lately, it's become a barf fest. I don't know why, it just lost its spark or what have you. I mean, I still watch it, but to reference my own analogy, it has become a stripper. And as I said, the bastard is still in my heart but I won't go bragging about its indecency at dinner parties if you get my drift. That's all.

    Sarah, this is going to reach twenty comments. Like whoa. Props, kudos and all those other phrase.

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  18. Lujain, great analogy. i've had a few shows like that myself. i'll probably still end up watching it eventually, anonymous hippopotamus, so don't worry. i'll just take Hannah's dislike for it to lower my expectations a bit after all the raving comments i've gotten so far about the show. as someone who has watched HSM several times, though, (my cousin's daughters also memorized all the dance steps and songs and would perform them constantly all. summer. long.) i think i'll be able to handle it even if it does fall short of my expectations.

    oh, and Lujain, thanks, i know, it's crazy. who knew everyone would have so much to say about glee? lol

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  19. Every time Glee is on and my sister turns the volume up, I would rather have my eyes dilled out with a spoon instead of a drill bit and have my ears imploded...

    They ruin some azaming songs and get arsey when an artist doesn't want their song destroyed (something I read on the news... can't remmeber which artict or song now...)

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  20. Sorry for such random spelling - am really tired right now

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  21. I agree with the whole ruining songs thing, and I personally think they should just stick with show tunes because that seems to be their forte, but I tend to just ignore the music at times. I used to be obsessed with the show, and sometimes I wonder why I still watch it. A part of me thinks, hey why not, while the other says, why even? But as I've said, it's like my child. I watch it anyway. Maternal instinct or whatever.

    Ryan Murphy's a bitch though, let it be known (He's the arrogant prick who takes everything personally when artists don't give him the rights)

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  22. i obviously haven't listened to a lot of their songs, but i personally love everything that comes out of darren criss's mouth. oh, and i have their version of 'another one bites the dust' on my ipod instead of the original.

    but wow that ryan murphy guy sounds obnoxious. i think i would deny him rights to my song just to spite him. yeah, i can be petty that way.

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  23. Ryan Murphy: That song you wrote in your book... I want to use it for some crappy show that will murder it completely.
    ME: No... sorry - but if you use it, I'll sue you for millions.
    Murphy: YOU ARROGANT *****!! YOU ARE RUINING MY SHOW AND CLEARLY HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST ME. YOU WANT TO SEE ME FAIL...
    ME: Well, I didn't, but now you put it that way, I've decided that yeah, I do.

    Or, as the Foo Fighters guy put it: FUCK YOU GLEE!!!

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  24. But you see, I understand that it's not people's cup of tea, and I'm not one of those quick to defend it, but maybe that's because it's just not in my nature to convert everyone I come across to my interests. I'm quite aware of perspective and all that jazz, unlike so many of my generation.

    I only say this because I ran into a rather vexing individual today, smothering me with questions of why I don't like Chris Brown or one of those other people....I'm not good with names.

    Anyway, Darren Criss is just divine and that other fella is none other than the adorable Jonathan Groff, hailing all the way from the New York stage as a guest star for a few episodes. His voice is beautiful and has a tendency to melt things, like Zeus. (movie reference is relevant)

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  25. anonymous hippopotamusApril 16, 2011 at 2:18 AM

    OH NO!!!!! :'( I was defending glee and now they are going to cover rebecca black's friday?! :'( :'( how could they!?

    *sigh* i wish her song would just die already...and i wish people would stop watching it on youtube and giving her popularity for a horrible horrible song!

    i cannot believe how popular it has become! :|

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  26. ewww why?? i swear to god if it's someone i like singing it, something bad will happen.

    she sold like a million (literally) copies of her song on itunes. ridiculous.

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