Sunday, February 5, 2012

i hate feeling stupid. i really do. and i feel like, once you reach a certain point in your education, it is no longer designed to educate you. it is just there to make you feel stupid.

like, you'll be learning how to add and subtract numbers your whole life, and then suddenly one day they come and tell you that from now on, you will be adding and subtracting letters and the answers will be fruit and if you mix the answer with a certain chemical that you have to basically invent with the help of the fairies and then send it to china using only the idea of pixels and the theory behind time travel, then you'll have what you need to start your assignment and you have three minutes to finish everything. and you're just like, "wait... what? how are you supposed to perform mathematical functions on nonnumbers? and i don't know the theory behind time travel. and why china?" and then the person standing in the front of the room looks down their nose at you and says something like "you should know this" in a deep and foreboding voice laced with ridicule and just a hint of disappointment. and all you can think is, why should i know this? how should i know this? you know what i know? i know everything that your system has taught me so far. if you didn't teach me to do this then why exactly do you expect me to know how to do it? does knowledge of random things i have no interest to just float around in the air getting inhaled by people and lodging itself in our brains? am i not sniffing the right air? should i be drinking some special water? what do you want from me?

gah. 

3 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusFebruary 5, 2012 at 8:28 PM

    ugh!!! i hate that feeling..and OMG!!! i just realized we used backtrack for our 493 project. Maria will probably remember how or maybe she could refer you to her brothers who i'm pretty sure know how. I'd probably start there...if your professor isn't being cooperative.

    or you could see if professor Lyons would meet with you. he might be able to help.

    sorry i'm useless because i was pregnant when they were doing that....and everything that happened during both pregnancies is a blur. although i remember every ache and pain.

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  2. I know exactly how that feels... and everyone else in the class seems to get it >.<

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