it's a trap, one i can't quite escape so pretend it's the place that i love

There's a girl who sits at the station watching trains come and go without ever getting on one. She tells whoever will listen that sunshine is just an illusion, mirror and smoke to hide the storm clouds that are always raging overhead. She says her favorite thing to do might be to watch people pretend to happy, but it's really watching people realize that they can't. She knows that there's no use looking for the light at the end of the tunnel because all it does is bring on the start of a new tunnel and she'd rather stay in the one she's in now, thank you very much. She talks about how everything is futile and pointless. She says there's no reason to wash your clothes if they're just going to get dirty again, no reason to eat if you'll just get hungry, no reason to live if you're just going to die.

There's a girl who sits at the station watching trains come and go without ever getting on one. She sits near the boy with the laughing eyes and listens to him talk about his first real job. He tells her that he's started to drink his coffee black because it seems like the adult thing to do, and sometimes a person just has to grow up. He tells her that the taste of it makes him gag and he can never drink more than the first two sips. He talks to her about dreams and hopes, and she wants to explain to him the beauty of a popping bubble and the music of a person crying, but she always forgets. 

There's a girl who sits at the station watching the trains come and go without ever getting on one. She waits for a boy with laughing eyes that hasn't been seen for far too long and thinks about how sometimes a person just has to grow up. She thinks about conducting a symphony of shrieking brakes and wild screams, wonders if the sound of crushing bones would be heard above the music. When the next train is announced she raises her arms above her head and walks slowly off the edge, reveling in the sounds only she knew would blend together this perfectly. She thinks about the fact that she didn't think it would take this long as she gags on the metallic taste filling her senses. As sirens are added to the orchestra, she wonders if growing up always makes you gag. 

*Out Through the Curtain - The Hush Sound