Friday, May 27, 2011

and now, the end is here, and so i face the final curtain

sometimes, i get majorly anxious about this summer. i've always had a big peter pan complex and this summer is like taking the dream of neverland that was always hovering just out of my reach and throwing it in the trash. in zimbabwe. a hundred years ago. so far away that i can never even think of it anymore.

it's like my entire "childhood" or whatever you can call this extended childhood of mine that has lasted into my twenties is just ending. at once. all together. it's leaving and forgetting to take me with it.

this all started earlier this year, with things like my sister moving away and all the other stuff that was going on. but the culmination of it, the dramatic dropping of the curtain on my life so far happens this summer.

first of all, i'm getting married. that's obviously a very un-stay a kid forever kind of decision.

second of all, harry potter, which has been a defining part of my life, is ending. that's it. done forever. the funny thing about harry potter is that it always coincided with major events in my life. graduate from elementary school? the fourth book comes out. start middle school? the first movie comes out. i move back from saudi arabia when my brother gets super sick? another book comes out. start my senior year of grade school? sixth book and fourth movie come out. graduate from high school? i'm more torn up about the end of my friend's and my story we were writing than the end of school. my sister gets married? the fifth movie and last book come out. i get married? the last movie comes out. i realize that with a book and movie coming out every year, this is not really an exceptional thing, but it was a big part of my life. so to have it end is like, really having it all just end.

that's it. this summer marks the end of everything. i am coming up to the last page, the credits will soon start to roll, the actors will take a bow, i'll close the back cover... and then i will be an adult.

*My Way - Frank Sinatra


  1. The credits always have good music, and everyone's dying to get back stage. It's not so bad.

    But yeah, I'd be sad too. I am sad already.

    I'm actually not looking forward to the Harry Potter movie. I mean, I can most definitely wait another few years to see it. Something about seeing it will make the seventh book real, and all the deaths in it permanent. And I don't want that. I read the book so fast that the events in seem like a distant dream, or something I read in a well written fanfiction story.

    And yeah, I'll most likely drown in a pool of my own human tears while watching it. Ugh.

  2. First of all -- getting married so doesn't equal growing up. My husband and I are total children. We have way too much fun to be called "grown ups." I mean, sure, we make our bills ontime and do our own grocery shopping...but we also watch animated movies, have food fights, put off our chores and have dessert before dinner.

    The greatest thing about being a legal adult is that you can do WHATEVER you've always wanted to do (inside the law, of course), and no one can tell you not to. The first thing I did after moving out of my dad's house was jump on my furniture. Sofa, recliner, bed, all of it. Like a five year old. ;)

    Second of all -- I'm going to cry like a baby after the last HP premiere. :( You're right about this one. Nothing will ever take the place of Harry Potter. I grew up with that series...literally. The characters were ALWAYS around my age, and going to book releases and movie premieres was something my friends and I did together every year. This summer when I go back to the states, we're all getting together for one last hurrah. It's going to be tragic and wonderful.

    But the big thing here is...the magic doesn't have to disappear from life because you're getting older. You just have to keep believing in it.

  3. anonymous hippopotamusMay 30, 2011 at 2:01 AM

    well said carrie! i agree with you 100%... :)

  4. Lujain... the credits do always have good music. i'll have to remember that. and i have never been a crier at movies/books/anything kind of person, but i know this one will just ruin it for me. tears the whole way through.

    Carrie... that is the awesomest thing i've heard lately. i'll have to remember that because it seems like everyone is suddenly expecting me to grow up and i don't think i know how or particularly want to. it's good to know that some people stay children after "taking such a big step forward into adulthood."

    yeah harry potter was just such a big thing for our generation. i can't even imagine it just being done.

  5. @Sarah: ;) Happy to be of service. Also, we built a tent fort in our living room two days ago and it made me think of this post again.

    @anonymous hippopotamus -- Why thank you.