Friday, May 20, 2011

some things in this world man, they don't make sense

i'm always grabbing at flames, trying to hold on to the fire because once i let go, the pain can set in. the tears will come to season the burn, but my reasoning is scorched and everything i touch comes out too salty. and i prefer the adrenaline pulsing through my veins while my mind holds on to the hope that maybe this time will be different, maybe this time it won't hurt, to the dull aching realization that i was wrong, that i am always wrong. and i'm grabbing at the flames just to let them go because the pain is familiar and scars never change. my tears are the only ones that are always there for me when the world turns upside down and everyone else runs away from the falling pieces. i am comfortable in the misery. i know my way around bitterness.

you know you were wrong and say i should forgive you, but i'm pushing you away because i'm just too tired to be forgiving. i'm fed up with understanding and would rather see red than have my eyes slipping down my cheeks. i'm not afraid of being hurt, i just don't have the energy to go through it all again. sentences are coming out of my mouth still born, and the pictures i paint are blending together into a black hole that's pulling me down, pulling you in, dragging the whole world to nonexistence.

you tell me i'm not making and sense, and well, if i wanted to make sense i would get a job, but i never held much worth in money and green was always my least favorite color. i never held much worth in you, either, but i'm still breaking myself into pieces to put you back together.

*Bright Lights - Matchbox 20


  1. anonymous hippopotamusMay 21, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    depressing :|

  2. anonymous hippopotamusMay 21, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    lol you are welcome! :D

  3. This doesn't make any sense. But it is depressing.

  4. yeah i realized that, hence the last part. but i think in a weird way it does make sense? kinda? just to me? yeah, maybe.

  5. It makes sense to me... And at one point in my young life, I felt almost exactly the same. Keep up the hurt so you don't feel the pain. Touch nothing because it all becomes ruined. See anger and hate because its better than sadness. Feel strong while inside, you're dying

  6. anonymous hippopotamusMay 23, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    i think it makes total sense...

  7. glad to see some people understood it. i sometimes think that stuff that makes sense in my head losing meaning somewhere along its way to the paper/screen.