Monday, May 9, 2011

you weren't there for me

we may not talk anymore, but you are never more than a thought away from my mind. i write you hate letters in my spare time and relive all the things you haven't done for me. i count the times you weren't there when i needed  you on blades of grass and butterfly wings. i try to measure how far your good intentions have taken me but it's too short for my ruler to catch. i paint your picture with my blood on my bedroom walls and try to scream out all my memories of you. it doesn't work, and now i have a headache. i keep old tissues in the space where our conversations used to sit, and have used my faith in you to plug up the cracks in my ceiling. i'm setting fire to our past, but the flames scorch my mind, scarring your memory into it forever.

i promised myself that i wouldn't let it get to me. i swore that you would stay out of my thoughts, my voice, my words. i said that you didn't deserve to be immortalized on papers, screens, or pixels. i was never good at keeping promises and never could speak the truth.

i wish i could say i didn't care.

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you would think that i could write something happy once and a while as a fluke.

*Down Poison - 3 Doors Down

6 comments:

  1. this hurts my heart. :\ are you okay? is this regarding something personal or just creative?

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  2. anonymous hippopotamusMay 10, 2011 at 2:11 AM

    I agree with anonymous who creepily (is that a word? apparently yes since there is no red line) is posting comments the same time as me...

    i like the depressing stuff..and i think writing depressing scary things is easier because happy can so easily be turned into cheesy.

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  3. Anonymous... blech the worst question in the entire english language. anyway, by creative i'm assuming you mean fictional, and i guess it's a little of both. i mean, it's obviously exaggerated a bit (i really don't have ay cracks in my ceiling), but it's based in truth. if that makes any sense.

    anonymous hippopotamus... omg two people online at the very same time? gasp! that may just be the creepiest thing i've ever heard. :P and yeah i'm really just not a big fan of happy. i don't know what to do with it.

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  4. "i keep old tissues in the space where our conversations used to sit, and have used my faith in you to plug up the cracks in my ceiling."

    I loved that, but especially the first part.

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