Monday, May 9, 2011

if you're vaguely attracted to rooftops

it's been such a struggle to write anything here. i know it hasn't been that long since my last post, but if you could see how many drafts have been piling up over the past four days, you'd understand. of course, you can't see the drafts and you probably never will. otherwise i would just be publishing them as posts and this post would not exist. so you just have to take my word for it. it's kind of funny because it seems like i finally have the words to express something that i've been trying to express for as long as i can remember, and suddenly there's no one to say it to. so they're just being piled into drafts never to be read again. they're building a castle out of themselves for a part of me to live because there doesn't seem to be room for it inside of me anymore. i don't think i'm making any sense. i'm pretty sure i don't mind.

anyway, my grandma came down from connecticut yesterday. she's like our biggest fan and head cheerleader. she used to photocopy our report cards and show them off to the people at the library she works at. when we were in high school. she still brags about us. when my brother-in-law made fun of me (jokingly) she was about ready to claw his eyes out; the only thing stopping her was the fact that she has better manners than that. she also really likes to compliment us, sometimes on things that probably shouldn't be complimented (like my old flip flops that even i can admit need to go). despite knowing that there is probably no merit backing the compliments, it can give a person quite an ego boost sometimes.

today i was told that i sound like a valley girl when i talk, and you would never expect me to even know how to open a book let alone read. i'm not sure if it was meant as an insult or a compliment.

i want to go on a road trip before the summer starts. like really, really want to. i know this is impossible - for several reasons - but that doesn't make me want it any less.

i like to make plans for "next year" that will probably never happen, if for no other reason than that "next year" was originally two years ago. nothing big or noteworthy, really. just stuff like "i'm going to start yoga next year." "i'm going to eat healthy next year." "i'm going to not ditch a single class next year." (i think this one might actually happen for once next semester.) "i am going to write every day next year." i don't know if next year will ever come, but i hope it does. the me that lives then seems like someone i wouldn't mind being.

the title of the post has been my answer to almost everything my sister has said this weekend which is why it was chosen as the title despite having nothing to do with the post.

*Hannah - Freelance Whales

4 comments:

  1. anonymous hippopotamusMay 10, 2011 at 2:03 AM

    or the fact that we have beautiful feet. :D or her awkward compliments when she corners you alone in the kitchen to tell you that you have a beautiful figure. :S

    lool

    and and there is someone to say it to...me or us your blog readers....we want to see these drafts that express what you've been trying to express for foreverness.

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  2. lol yes the feet. you missed it this time when she first came she kept walking around saying, "oh is this new? it's beautiful!" to things like her mattresses/bed on the floor, our couches, the toilet (the only thing that actually was new). and she kept saying everything sparkled and smelled so clean.

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  3. anonymous hippopotamusMay 10, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    :S...mommy was telling me she was worried bout her...apparently shes making weird mistakes when playing scrabble? getting old sucks! i refuse to do it...

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  4. yeah she was telling me today (grandma) that she's forgetting how to spell. like she'll know a word but can't remember for the life of her how to spell it. and yeah her mistakes in scrabble were weird spelling for words, like ergo with a u instead of the e.

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