it's beyond me; i cannot carry the weight of the heavy world

can't you see that you're piling things you don't want or need into my arms on top of a load that's already too heavy to carry?

i never said i would hold this for you.

can't you see that my arms ache and my back is sore and it's a chore just to drag one weary foot in front of the other?

you never offered to help with this.

can't you see that the sweat is burning my eyes and gluing my shirt to my back, but i can't stop and rest because i would never be able to start again?

you're telling me i need to keep up.

you're running and laughing and screaming at me to hurry because you hate to stand still for too long and the world looks ugly when you walk too slow.

you're throwing on problems, dreams, and ideas as soon as they come into your head, waiting for me to sort them out for you.

it's hot and it's heavy and i can't put it down.

can't you see that i'm crumbling under its weight? my knees are about to buckle and my spine is going to snap and you tell me that it must be great being me, because every day is such a struggle for you.

one day, oh one day i will hand this all back to you. i will put it down and walk away. one day i'll be the one to run off laughing. i'll leave your messes for you to clean and your problems for you to solve. you'll have to chase after your own dreams because mine are going in the opposite direction and i've been ignoring them for far too long.

deep down i know that one day will never get any closer than it is right now.

*****

my brother-in-law yesterday: hannah read me some stuff you wrote, you're really morbid.

today: i set out to write something not morbid.

this is what i got.

the organization/structure is really haphazard, but that's how it came out so i'm leaving it.

*Goodnight, Goodnight - Maroon 5