you tryin' to be cool. you look like a fool to me

i was listening to my ipod the other day and a song came up that i havent heard in a few years because i usually skip it. so i listen to it and suddenly realize that the lyrics are so bad it makes me want to go to the singer and punch her in the face. this got me thinking about a bunch of other songs that have lyrics in them that make me cringe. (mind you, i like some of these songs, but that doesnt change anything.) so without further ado, here are some of my most hated lyrics from my itunes, radio, or family member's songs.

She gets the top bunk, I'm sleeping on the floor.

Girl Next Door - Saving Jane

okay, this one has always killed me. the whole point of bunk beds is that there are two beds: one on the top and one on the bottom. so if she takes the top bunk why the hell don't you sleep on the bottom one? why would you sleep on the floor? that doesnt even make any sense. you know, maybe the reason people like her more than you isnt because she's a pretty, popular cheerleader. maybe it's because you are a moron.

Cause I'm gonna shout it out to everyone I meet.

If You See Kay - The Script

i love to meet new people. what i love even more is when i first meet someone for them to start droning on about their ex who i have most likely never met. i mean, really, could you think of any better way to start a friendship? the very best though is when they move on from just talking about said ex to shouting about her to me. shouts that you won't take her leaving you as a defeat will definitely make me wanna stick around and talk to you more... uh, i think i might know why she left you.

I just wanna write you in a song/ Put your smile on paper so you can sing along/ I just wanna bottle the sun/ Keep your light a secret I can find when you are gone

You in a Song - Jason Reeves

this entire song is just one bad lyric after another. none of it makes sense, meanings seem to be contradicting, and it's just overall awful. (i happen to like this song for some reason, though.) first of all, "so" typically means then, for that reason, subsequently. i, for one, see no connection between putting my smile on paper and my ability to sing along. I have successfully managed to sing along to tons of songs that had nothing to do with me or my smile. and then, you said you wanted to bottle the sun. what does that have to do with keeping her light a secret? unless she is the sun, in which case i dont think she's had a smile since we graduated from third grade. if it were me, i'd be gone as soon as you started spewing this nonsense.

you taste like honey, honey. tell me can i be your honey?

Disease - Matchbox 20

whenever my sister listens to this song, i feel the need to go back in time with my red pen and scribble out all of those honey's when rob thomas first thought up those genius lyrics. and then fail him for being stupid and the rest of the band for going along with it. repeating the same word three times in two sentences does not make you cool or witty. it just emphasizes the fact that you have the vocabulary of a mime.

I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it

Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer

ignoring the fact that earlier in this song he says "bubblegum tongue," i think this is the worst line in this song. i'm sorry, do i look like i can't freaking lay down by myself? will i hurt myself as i fall onto a pillow? or do you think i'll get lost and your hand is there to guide me? do you know how uncomfortable it is to sleep on someone's hand? every. single. time. gah.

There were plants and birds and rocks and things.

A Horse with No Name - America

my cousin who was obsessed with this song for a while doesnt have the best english, so he's excused. but for the rest of the world, how could you listen to a song where the songwriter got bored halfway through a sentence and ended it with "and things." i mean, you are talking about a desert. go to any first grader off the street and they'll be able to give you ten more things besides plants and birds and rocks that you could have seen. i mean, go with the obvious. how about sand? but i mean, the have a lot of la la las in the song, too, so maybe they should just go hang out with matchbox 20 and pretend to be trapped in a box. or better yet, really get trapped in a box.

Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago

Smooth Operator - Sade

okay, sade. go to a map. look for chicago. you see all that land on the other side of it? yeah, that means that it is not on the coast. oh, and i hate your name, too.

I drew a line for you/ Oh, what a thing to do/ And it was all yellow.

Yellow - Coldplay

um, this may just be me, but if someone is trying to do something for me, it better be more than drawing a stupid line. i dont care what color it is. if by "oh what a thing to do" you mean, "what an idiotic thing to do," then i think we are on the same page here.

Sadness is beautiful loneliness that's tragical.

Shape of my Heart - Backstreet Boys

you know those people who speak just to hear themselves talk? and the worst type of those people - the ones that string a bunch of big words together to try and sound smart? yeah, the backstreet boys must have hired a dumbed down version of him to write their lyrics. forced poetical crap does not sound smart. and tragical is not a word, as chrome is nice enough to point out.

okay, so i am now tired of this, but if you have any lyrics you love to hate, then put them in the comments.

*Complicated - Avril Lavigne