i dig you 'cause your grammar is so good

okay, so i'm not sure who exactly said that it was okay to let idiocy flourish in cyberspace, but that person should be shot. repeatedly. i absolutely abhor reading bad spelling and grammar online. the only thing worse is the moronic response of "calm down, we're online." i'm sorry, did you have to give your brain away to get internet connection? if it is not okay for you to speak like a moron in person, it is not okay to do it through a computer. i understand that some people are just bad spellers. i have nothing against those people. really, i dont. but writing "like" as "lyke" is not being a bad speller. it is throwing your brain cells away with both hands. everyone is allowed to go through a phase of idiocy, but that phase should stop in eighth grade (and even that is pushing it). i don't care if what you say online is not being graded, stop being stupid.

yes, i realize that i dont follow grammar online as well as i should. i have a problem with the shift and apostrophe buttons, but i know the right way to write.

here are some basic things to remember to avoid being labeled as stupid:

>> your is not an abbreviated form of you're. the first is possessive while the second is a contraction. if you are confusing the two, maybe it's time for you to turn off the computer and crack open a book. i may not always use apostrophes, but i always write youre when it is needed.

>> their, there, and they're are also three completely different words. they are not interchangeable. they are not variations of each other. a sentence to show the three uses: they're at their table over there. see how each one has its own special meaning?

>> affect and effect are also not interchangeable. affect is a verb. effect is a noun. remember that a comes before e in the alphabet. something has to affect something else before the effect is seen.

>> it's and its is another commonly misused pair of words. its is possessive and it's stands for it is. it's really not that hard to remember. this is the one time that i never neglect the apostrophes. you should do the same.

>> quotation marks should not be used for emphasis. saying something is "important" does not make me recognize its significance. in fact, it makes me think that it is unimportant. or that your definition of importance is a bit off. parentheses shouldn't be used for emphasis either, for that matter.

>> teh is not a cool way to write the. it is a typo. people who emulate mistakes because they think it makes them look/sound cooler need to die.

>> you can't italicize your entire speech. italics should be used for emphasis, much like those " " you've been throwing around. contrary to what you might believe, every word that comes out of your mouth - or uh hand - does not need to be emphasized. try talking like that and you'll realize how stupid you sound to me.

>> could of, should of, and would of are not grammatically correct phrases. they dont even make sense. if you don't want to write the contractions (could've, should've, would've) then at least write out what they really stand for... which is could have, should have, and would have if you didnt know. it'll make you sound a little less like a completely uneducated idiot.

*Bad Grammar - The Hippos