a woman so heartless

She clutched the brown paper bag in her freezing hand and tried to ignore the way the wind was numbing her fingers. She struggled to see past the hair that seemed intent on attacking her face for some unavenged past deed, and really only needed to keep her eyes on the ground, but couldn't help stealing furtive glances around her every few seconds. The jar seemed to grow heavier with every hurried step she took, and she was sure it would fall through the bag with the next one. But she didn't stop, and it didn't fall.

She dodged a car and slipped past the chatty grocer unnoticed, but was caught by the store owner on the next block.

"Strange weather we've been having," he started, planting his feet and getting comfortable for a long conversation.

She brushed her hair back behind her ear where it stayed in place for a minute as the wind took a break to regain its strength and put on her best apologetic smile. "It is, and I would love to stay and chat, but I really need to get this home." Her words fell a little too quickly out of her mouth and the bag she held up was a little too loud, but the store owner didn't notice and turned instead to the lady behind her. "Strange weather we've been having."

The wind started back up and she let it push her on towards home, ducking her head when recognition flashed in a pair of familiar eyes. An arm still shot out to grab her, but she twisted away before it could get any purchase. "I'm sorry, I really have to get-" she called back over her shoulder, not bothering to finish the sentence because she was already out of earshot and the wind was eating her words anyway.

She kept her eyes on the ground now and made it to her house uninterrupted. Her free hand - kept warm in her pocket - was able to get her inside without slowing her down. She allowed herself one sweeping glance of the nearly empty street outside her front door before shutting it out of view with a muted thump.

Her hair gave up its attack and hung limply at the sides of her face, tired from the fight. The wind couldn't reach her and her body began to remember that it had two hands instead of one. She continued to her bedroom, closing the door behind her and the curtains in front of her.

She walked over to the bookshelf in the corner, her eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light, and pulled the jar out of the bag. She spared it only a moment's glance to make sure it was alright before putting it on the shelf with the others. The collection of jars thudded softly in the filtered light that struggled to make its way through the curtain. They beat in perfect harmony with each other, and she sat down cross-legged on the floor to listen.

Each heart beating out a tune of love - unrequited though it may be - against the glass of the jar. She closed her eyes and swayed to the rhythm, trying to remember the name or the face that went with each one. She couldn't, and it only bugged her for a second.

Immune to emotions as she was, there was something irresistible about a heart in love. Something magical and other-worldly that she really couldn't help but reach out and grab. She couldn't find it in herself to feel guilty about it as the melancholy beat enveloped her in a bittersweet song of desire.

She sat on the floor as the room got steadily darker and her collection of hearts thudded on.

*Heartless - Kanye West