and wouldn't it be grand if we were dead?

so i was sitting talking with this kid in my class yesterday as we waited for the rest of our group members to actually show up to the meeting thay they planned - it was ridiculous., they showed up forty five minutes late. anyways, i was talking to this kid, who's actually almond boy, if you guys remember that far back. we got to talking about that dude that was thought to be in a coma for twenty three years but was really conscious the entire time. you know, the one i mentioned at the beginning of this post.

we both agreed that that would be a miserable existence, simply awful. we also agreed that living alone in your own head would most definitely cause some insanity, because come on that situation just reeks craziness. we didnt agree, however, on why (besides the whole only having yourself to talk to) it would be so miserable. almond boy said that for the twenty three years they thought he was in a coma, he was probably hoping for them to pull the plug. because really, who wants to stay alive on a machine forever? and then he was like, now that they know he's conscious, it makes everything worse because they cant pull the plug now. it goes against the hippocratic oath. but if it was him, he'd still want to die. he said that having suffered for twenty three years, he wouldnt want to suffer any longer. he'd want them to end it for him, and that would be the reason he would try to let them know he was still conscious. to tell them to kill him.

i wasnt sure what to think about that. on one hand, i suppose it is kind of true. but on the other, he must have some hope that he would regain control of his muscles or whatever and make a recovery? yes? no? almond boy knew exactly what he would want and do in a situation like that. i have no idea.

and then i got to thinking, you know in movies and shows and i suppose it happens in real life, too, but ive never witnessed it so i cant be sure, when someone goes into a coma everyone goes and says what theyve always wanted to but never got around to saying to him? some of those things are probably good. it'll make him happy to hear what they were saying to/about him. but some of them would be awful. confessions to lighten the other person's burden. things you would never have the courage to say to him if he wasnt a vegetable.

and like dream world in narnia, how could the good thoughts stand a chance when the bad ones are so persistent in remaining in the foregrounds of a person's mind? twenty three years of having to live over and over those confessions. nothing else to think about besides how hopeless your situation is. nothing to do but watch as everyone you loved moved on with their lives, leaving you behind? nothing to do, nothing to say. just the thought is horrifying. and then i think, you know, maybe almond boy is right.

*Dead! - My Chemical Romance