Sunday, March 18, 2012

i wish i was young

[day twenty-three: something old]

i realized the other day that i've always felt old. it's more common recently to hear me bemoaning my age, but i've always had those i'm-so-old feelings.

i remember in fourth grade we had a journal to record the books we read that year in class. i thought it was a cool idea and contemplated starting one for all the books i read. but then i thought, "i've already read so many books. i'm too old to start this now. i should have started it when i was younger." and so i didn't. when i was fifteen i really regretted that decision. i realized that nine years old is actually really young, and i should have started recording my books then. you would think that i would be smart enough to start after that realization, but no. i once again thought i was too old to start and it would be pointless. (though to be fair, at that point i was in a bit of a literary dry spell. i think i read like three or four [new] books that year. i thought that my reading was pretty much over.) now at twenty-three, i'm a big reader again but i still haven't started to record the books i read, and i doubt i ever will. my bookcase will have to be enough of a record. that and my memory i guess. (i have thought of creating a goodreads account, but i just never get around to it.)

though i still feel old, i also know that in a few years i'll look back and think about how young i was at this point of my life. i'll think of all the times i said i was old and laugh at my ignorance. knowing this doesn't change much.

*I Feel So - Boxcar Racer


  1. I want to start writing a brief thing on each book I read... but I am gonna try and work through the books I already read. Then I realised the library doesn't have loan records... and hundreds of books have come and gone... and there's the matter of the 2000+ books I have here... and the boxes back home... >.>

    And I do feel old... I have done for a while. Damn sister keeps calling me old as well :(

  2. yeah it seems like i already missed too many books to start now. i can't believe libraries don't keep loan records. i just always assumed they did. and yes, siblings only exacerbate the old feelings. doesn't help when my youngest two are still in elementary school and people think i'm their mom.

  3. Ouch on that last part....

    And I was so miffed when I asked if I could have my loan records :(