i never thought you were a fool, but darling look at you

we've all come across some pretty ridiculous court cases... the lady who sued because her coffee was too hot, the people who sued mcdonalds for making them fat... you know the ones. but these are by far the most ridiculous ones i've heard of yet. granted, some of these were a long time ago, but i mean, people had brains then too, right??

in italy, some farmers noticed that their crops were destroyed by a family of moles. the logical thing to do would be to get some pest repellent stuff, put up some traps, or otherwise try to dispose of them, right?? of course not! why get rid of the moles when you can sue them?! yup, they took the moles to court so that they "may be able to show cause for their conduct by pleading their exigencies and distress." the moles even got a lawyer so that "they would have nothing to complain about." the prosecutor brought forward farmers to witness that the moles' activities made it difficult for them to pay their rent. the defendent went with the "circle of life" defense. the judge ruled that the moles be banished immediately with an extra 14 days "granted to all those which are with young, and to such as are yet in their infancy." after 14 days, they were to be excommunicated.

in brazil, a group of friars took termites to court for eating through the walls of a sacred monastery. the termite's lawyer went with the defense that the friars were lesser beings than the termites because it was the termites' land first. the termites were going to win until the monks decided to compromise, and they, like the moles, were excommunicated. the sentence was read aloud to the termite hill.

in switzerland, a rooster was taken to court "for the heinous and unnatural crime of laying an egg." the rooster pled not guilty. without anything else to reference, the judge referenced the bible. it was decided that the rooster was a tool of the devil and he was burned at the stake.

a bishop in switzerland also sued leeches for infesting a pond. apparently there were too many of them. they were brought to court in a pile and told they had three days to evacuate. when the leeches did not comply with the court order, it was assumed they were possessed. the church performed an exorcism, which killed all the leeches, thereby making the court ruling kind of moot.

*Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of - U2